The Cabinet Minister: A farce in four actsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Cabinet Minister: A farce in four acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Silence! I'm on the brink of some delicate little financial operations!
[To BROOKE.] Get out the cart!
BROOKE TWOMBLEY.
The drag's outside.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Come on!
[LEBANON enters hastily.]
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
Hi, Drumdurris! Let me 'ave a carriage to go to Strachlachan Junction. I
want to wire to town.
LADY TWOMBLEY.
Do you? So do we. We'll give you a lift. Come on! [They all hurry out.]
END OF THE THIRD ACT.
THE FOURTH ACT.
DANCING.
The scene is still the inner hall of Drumdurris Castle, now brilliantly
lighted and florally decorated, the evening after the events of the
previous act.
Waltz-music is heard, then a slight scream, and LEBANON, in full
Highland costume, enters hastily.
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
I wouldn't 'ave 'ad it 'appen for 'alf a sovereign.
[THE MUNKITTRICK, a fiery old gentleman in Highland dress, enters.]
THE MUNKITTRICK.
Sir, I am most indignant!
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
I've explained. I felt myself goin' and I caught at what came nearest.
THE MUNKITTRICK.
My daughter came nearest.
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
I know. Don't make such a fuss about it! Do remember we're at a ball!
THE MUNKITTRICK.
Miss Munkittrick is torn to ribbons.
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
All right. Make light of it--make light of it, like I do.
THE MUNKITTRICK.
Ah-h-h!
[DRUMDURRIS, in Highland dress, enters with MISS MUNKITTRICK, who is
much discomposed, and EGIDIA, who is soothing her.]
EARL OF DRUMDURRIS.
[To MUNKITTRICK.] My dear sir!
MISS MUNKITTRICK.
Papa!
EGIDIA.
Oh, Flora, Flora!
THE MUNKITTRICK.
Lord Drumdurris!
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
Let it blow over. We're all forgettin' we're at a ball.
THE MUNKITTRICK.
Miss Munkittrick has been rolled upon the floor.
MR. JOSEPH LEBANON.
She was passin' at the time--I didn't select her. Don't be so conceited!
[LEBANON continues to explain. MUNKITTRICK is indignant; DRUMDURRIS
endeavors to soothe him. BROOKE enters carrying a satin shoe, which he
presents to MISS MUNKITTRICK.]
BROOKE TWOMBLEY.
Awfully sorry--what? [BROOKE hurries out.]
MISS MUNKITTRICK.
Where is papa?
[IMOGEN enters, carrying an aigrette.]
IMOGEN.
Oh, Miss Munkittrick, what a shocking mishap!
[They fasten the aigrette in MISS MUNKITTRICK'S hair.]
MISS MUNKITTRICK.
Have you seen my papa?
[LADY EUPHEMIA, carrying a sash, hurries in as IMOGEN goes off. MISS
MUNKITTRICK rises; LADY EUPHEMIA and EGIDIA adjust the sash hastily.]
LADY EUPHEMIA VIBART.
[Adjusting the sash.] My dear Flora, this is _too_ unfortunate!
[BROOKE re-enters with another shoe.]
BROOKE TWOMBLEY.
The other--what! [To LADY EUPHEMIA.] There are some more pieces--come
and help.
[BROOKE and LADY EUPHEMIA hurry out.]
MISS MUNKITTRICK.
I want my papa! [Seeing MUNKITTRICK.] Ah!
THE MUNKITTRICK.
[Giving her his arm.] Flora, we'll go home.
MISS MUNKITTRICK.
Papa, I'm not nearly _all_.
[Her aigrette is very much on one side, her sash is trailing, and she
limps away carrying one slipper.]
EGIDIA.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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