California -- Fiction; San Francisco (Calif.) -- Fiction; Upper class -- Fiction; Western stories
"You must never think of doing that sort of thing again," he said.
"Unless a person is naturally eccentric, the attempt to be so
demoralises him, because there is nothing so demoralising as
failure--except on one's own particular lines. Did you, for instance,
jump on a horse and career barebacked through Menlo Park like a wild
Indian,--a performance which your friend would probably carry off with
any amount of dash and _chic_--you would feel a hopeless fool; whereas,"
he gave her a keen side glance, "if you felt that you possessed a
talent--for music, say--and failed forty times before achieving success,
you would feel that your failures partook of the dignity of their cause,
and of your own character."
She turned to him with quickening pulse. "Do you think," she faltered,
hunting for phrases that would not commit her, "that if a person loved
an art very much, even if he could not be sure that he had genius, that
he would be right to go on and on, no matter how often he became
discouraged?"
Her eyes were staring at her horse's neck; she did not see him smile. He
had felt quite sure that she sought relief for the silences of her life
in literary composition. When an unattractive woman has not talent she
finds a double revenge in the torture of words, he thought. What shall I
say to her? That she is whittling thorns for her own soul? Bah! Did I
not find enjoyment once in the very imaginings of all that has scourged
me since? Would I have thanked anyone for opening my eyes? And the
positive is the one thing that grips the memory. It is as well to have
what high lights one can.
She had raised her head and was looking at him expectantly.
"Certainly," he said. "He should go on, by all means. Love of an art
presupposes a certain degree of talent."--May Heaven forgive me for that
lie, he thought.
She detected his lack of spontaneity, but attributed it to the fact that
he had not guessed her personal interest in the question. "Have you met
many literary people?" she asked. "But of course you must. Did you like
them very much?"
"I have inquired carefully, and ascertained that there are none in
Menlo. If there were, I should not think twice about the Mark Smith
place."
Magdalena felt herself burning to her hair. She glanced at him quickly,
but he averted his eyes and called her attention to a magnificent oak
whose limbs trailed on the ground. Should I tell him? she thought, every
nerve quaking. _Should_ I? Then she set her lips in scorn. He spoke of
"literary" people, she continued. It will be many a day before I am
that. Meanwhile, as Helena would say, what he doesn't know won't hurt
him.
He had no intention of letting her make any such confidences. "Tell me,"
he said. "I have heard something of the old Spanish families of
California. You, of course, belong to them. That is what gives you your
delightful individuality. I should like to hear something of that old
life. Of course it interests you?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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