[Footnote 6: _Will I institute games_)--Ver. 417. He plays on the double meaning of "ludes," which means either "tricks," or "funeral games" in honor of the dead, according to the context.] ACT II.--SCENE I. _Enter_ THEUROPIDES, _followed by_ ATTENDANTS. THEU. (_to himself_). Neptune, I do return extreme thanks to thee that thou hast just dismissed me from thee, _though_ scarce alive. But if, from this time forward, thou shalt only know that I have stirred a foot upon the main, there is no reason why, that instant, thou shouldst not do with me that which thou hast now wished to do. Away with you, away with you from me henceforth for ever after to-day; what I was to entrust to thee, all of it have I _now_ entrusted. _Enter_ TRANIO, _overhearing him._ TRA. (_apart_). By my troth, Neptune, you've been much to blame, to have lost this opportunity so fair. THEU. After three years, I've arrived home from Aegypt. I shall come a welcome _guest_ to my household, I suppose. TRA. (_apart_). Upon my faith, he might have come a much more welcome one, who had brought the tidings you were dead. THEU. (_looking at the door_). But what means this? Is the door shut in the daytime? I'll knock. (_Knocks at the door._) Hallo, there! is any one going to open this door for me? TRA. (_coming forward, and speaking aloud_). What person is it that has come _so_ near to our house? THEU. Surely this is my servant Tranio. TRA. O Theuropides, my master, welcome; I'm glad that you've arrived in safety. Have you been well all along? THEU. All along, as you see. TRA. That's very good. THEU. What about yourselves? Are you _all_ mad? TRA. Why so? THEU. For this reason; because you are walking about outside; not a born person is keeping watch in the house, either to open or to give an answer. With kicking with my feet I've almost broken in the panels? TRA. How now? Have you been touching this house? THEU. Why shouldn't I touch it? Why, with kicking it, I tell you, I've almost broken down the door. TRA. What, you touched it? THEU. I touched it, I tell you, and knocked at it. TRA. Out upon you! THEU. Why so? TRA. By heavens! 'twas ill done. THEU. What is the matter? TRA. It cannot be expressed, how shocking and dreadful a mischief you've been guilty of. THEU. How so? TRA. Take to flight, I beseech you, and get away from the house. Fly in this direction, fly closer to me. (_He runs towards_ TRANIO.) What, did you touch the door? THEU. How could I knock, if I didn't touch it? TRA. By all that's holy, you've been the death-- THEU. Of what person? TRA. Of all your family. THEU. May the Gods and Goddesses confound you with that omen. TRA. I'm afraid that you can't make satisfaction for yourself and them. THEU. For what reason, or what new affair is this that you _thus_ suddenly bring me _news of_? TRA. And (_whispering_) hark you, prithee, do bid those people to move away from here. (_Pointing to the_ ATTENDANTS _of_ THEUROPIDES.)