This was a foundation easy to build on. One so considerate and obliging
must be a great gentleman so to condescend to one in the position of an
actress—whose only road to the companionship of gentlemen lay through
dishonour. This man put forward no pretension to gallantry in her
favour, and she must be quick to recognize the distinction between his
Grace and the other men who buzzed about her. It is true, and she knew
it, that he had the reputation that most men of his rank have with
women, but he did not sharpen his weapons on the Duchess’s dependent. He
would have despised himself otherwise since her Grace made him welcome
to her rooms where she sat with Diana in private and ’tis strange how
natural, simple and easy the talk of these three persons, so unlike each
other, became as the days past by. Therefore his way of thinking was not
unfamiliar to her. She knew that cloud on his brow, and would have given
much to charm it away by some innocent kindness such as a sister might
bestow, were it not for the vast distance between them of rank and sex.
Still, she ventured a little, timidly.
“Your Grace, I was happy tonight, it is true, but I had scarce left the
stage when fear and trouble awaited me. And so I think it will be
always—brief sunshine and a cloud to swallow it up. I expect no better.
“Fear and trouble!” says the Duke earnestly, “but how and why? Sure
there could be none so base as spoil your hard-earned triumph. Tell me
what caused it? Now I look closer at you I see tear-marks about your
eyes. Indeed this night should have been joy unmixt and perfect.”
“When is it so?” she asked, avoiding his question— “Do I not see your
Grace that hath youth, health, riches, splendour—everything, sad enough
sometimes? Who then shall be happy?”
“Youth, health, riches, splendour!” he repeated— “Yes, but set against
them, Mrs. Fenton,—loneliness, sorrow, shame, hatred.— Do that sum in
subtraction and what is left? Nothing.”
“Yet your Grace is gay often?”
“How could a man live otherwise? But my life is desolation. O fool that
I am to talk thus and to a young and beautiful and happy woman. What
should you know, child, of care—you that have life in radiant sunshine
before you? I ask your pardon for being so selfish as to remind you that
there are clouds even in a summer sky.”
“I did not need reminding. My life is a struggle too, your Grace.”
Her eyes dropt, and her cheek flushed.
“I know your reason,” he said, looking earnestly at her. “’Tis a hard
case that men do not nor cannot distinguish a legitimate prey from one
that ’tis cruelty to attempt. There have been moments when I despised my
whole sex—not sparing myself—for our blindness and selfishness in this
respect.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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