The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
We went to the Odium, a favourite playhouse of Bonypart's, on purpose
to see the Civil Barber, a play written by one Beau Marchy--but
we were disappointed, for the house was not open, so by way of a
pease-alley, as Mr. Fulmer calls it, we went to the Fait d'Eau, a
kind of French uproar, where we paid very dear for tickets, and
got no places after all. I was quite sick and tired of the affair
altogether, and if Mr. Fulmer had not got me a caffé au lait to carry
me home, I think I should have perspired from fatigue.
I had almost forgot to tell you that we went to the palace at
Marselles, distant from this about ten miles--it is indeed a
beautiful place. There we saw the great Owes playing, which is
water-works, and represents water coming out of the tails of Lions,
and out of the ears and noses of frogs and goddesses, as natural
as the life. Here is a wonderful fine chapel, all of marvel, and a
strait canal which has no end--I forget how much it cost the nation
to make all this water, but I am sure it is cheap at the money
whatever it may be--though by the name it seems to be still owing.
Mr. Fulmer called such an expense an easy mode of liquidating a
national debt--but really I don't know why.
I have little time for more at present, because two of the doctors
from the Sore-bone are coming to see my daughter's sprained ancle
to-night; but it is curious to remark how foolish the people are,
when one has not a gentleman with one, for Mr. Fulmer being out
to-day, I sent to the Traitors for the bill of fare, and the man
talked of sending the dinner in a cart, which I thought was useless,
it being only just over the way. So they sent the bill, and I not
being particular, and not understanding the names of the things,
ordered the first four dishes in the list, and they sent me four
different sorts of soup, and when I complained of the cook, the
garkon or waiter talked of quizzing and quizzing her, (doubtlessly
meaning me) as if I had been a person of no consequence--indeed he
once or twice went so far as to swear at me, and say dam when he
spoke to me, but I had nobody at home to take my part, and therefore
I eat the four soups and said nothing about it.
The daughter of Mr. Ratschild is going to be married--they call him
Creases, but he is a Jew. He gives her a dot the day of her wedding,
of five millions of franks; but for all he is so rich, they say he
is quite circumsized in his affairs compared with his brother in
London--his daughter will be made a barrenness when she is married.
Mr. Cambray Serres is more--which here means no more. I suppose, by
his name, that he is related to our royal family at home.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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