The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
I desired, of course, that the Popish Prater, or priest, might have
no communication with my girls--I don't approve of what they call
the horal confession--to be sure it is a mere matter of feeling--but
I saw one young lady in Saint Surplice one day a confessing away
to a fine handsome Prater, and I thought it would have been much
better done in some more private place than a church. I understood
afterwards she was a lady who had been long married, but her husband
had no hair to his property, and she used to come every day and
confess to the Prater, and pray for a child--poor thing, she seemed
very much in earnest.
The onion of Lavy with Mr. Fulmer is postponed; his ant is dead,
and it would not be respectful to be married while the dool (as
the French call it) continues; I am driven to the last moment, as
Lavy and her sister are analyzing themselves to go to see the great
picture of Pompey, in the Strand--Lavy means to write to you next
week herself. --Your's truly,
DOROTHEA J. RAMSBOTTOM.
IX.
MRS. RAMSBOTTOM ANNOUNCES THE DEATH OF HER HUSBAND AND DESCRIBES HER
VISIT TO ROME.
TO JOHN BULL.
Montague Place, Jan. 6, 1825.
DEAR MR. BULL,--Why don't you write to us--or call? We are all of
us well, and none of us no more, as perhaps you may suppose, except
poor Mr. Ram.--of course you know of his disease, it was quite
unexpected, with a spoonful of turtle in his mouth--the real gallipot
as they call it. However, I have no doubt he is gone to heaven, and
my daughters are gone to Bath, except Lavy, who is my pet, and never
quits me.
The physicians paid great attention to poor Mr. Ram., and he suffered
nothing--at least that I know of. It was a very comfortable thing
that I was at home shay new, as the French say, when he went, because
it is a great pleasure to see the last of one's relations and friends.
You know we have been to Room since you heard from us--the infernal
city as it is called--the seat of Poopery, and where the Poop himself
lives. He was one of the Carnals, and was elected just before we was
there: he has changed his name, not choosing to disgrace his family.
He was formerly Doctor Dallyganger, but he now calls himself Leo,
which the Papists reverse, and call him Ole or Oleness. He is a fine
cretur, and was never married, but he has published a Bull in Room,
which is to let people commit all kind of sin without impunity,
which is different from your Bull, which shoes up them as does any
crime. He is not Poop this year, for he has proclaimed Jew Billy in
his place, which is very good, considering the latter gentleman is a
general, and not of his way of thinking.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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