The Clean HeartHutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
Science
The Clean Heart
Hutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
Authors -- Fiction; Happiness -- Fiction
The yellow-toothed gentleman interrupted him by leaning out to his
waist from the window and bellowing: "Something else! Come, what the
devil's up and what's your business, or I'll rouse the house and set
about the pair of 'ee."
Then Mr. Wriford, no longer to be restrained. Mr. Wriford, fierce to
indulge his resolution not to care for anybody and shaking with the
excitement of it. Mr. Wriford, to Mr. Puddlebox's much astonishment,
in huge and ferocious bawl: "What's up!" bawled Mr. Wriford, hopping
about in reckless ecstasy of fierceness. "What's up! Why, you know
jolly well what's up, you beastly old villain. Tried to set your
barn afire, you ugly-faced old scoundrel! I saw you! I was in
there! I saw you with your lamp! Come down, you rotten-toothed old
fiend! Come down and have your face smashed, you miserable old
sinner!"
The gentleman thus opprobriously addressed disappeared with great
swiftness, and immediately could be heard thumping down-stairs with
sounds that betokened bare feet.
"That's done it," said Mr. Wriford, wiping his face which was very
hot, and placed himself before the porch to await the expected
arrival.
"My goodness, it has," said Mr. Puddlebox. "You've let yourself go
this time, boy. And what the devil is going to happen next--
"I'll show you," cried Mr. Wriford and, as the key turned in the lock
and the door opened, proceeded to the demonstration thus promised
with a fierceness of action even more astonishing than his earlier
outburst of words.
The door was no sooner opened to reveal the yellow-toothed gentleman
in his nightshirt and bare feet, than Mr. Wriford rushed upon him,
seized him by his flowing garment, and dragged him forth into the
yard. Mr. Wriford then revolved very swiftly, causing the
yellow-toothed gentleman, who had the wider ambit to perform, to
revolve more swiftly yet, and this on naked feet that made him
complain very loudly and bound very highly when they lighted upon a
stone, spun him in these dizzy circles down the yard, and after a
final maze at final speed released him with the result that the
yellow-toothed gentleman first performed a giddy whirl entirely on
his own account, then the half of another on his heels and in mortal
danger of overbalancing, and then, with the best intentions in the
world to complete this circuit, was checked by waltzing into his
duck-pond, wherein with a very loud shriek he disappeared.
Mr. Wriford again wiped his face, which was now much hotter than
before, and with a cry of "Come on!" to Mr. Puddlebox, who was
staring in amazement towards the pond and its struggling occupant,
made a run to the house. Mr. Puddlebox joined him within the door,
and Mr. Wriford then locked the door behind them, and looking very
elatedly at Mr. Puddlebox, inquired of him triumphantly: "Well, what
about that?"
"Loony," said Mr. Puddlebox, "I never saw the like of it. It's a
licker."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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