The Club of Queer TradesChesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
General
The Club of Queer Trades
Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
Detective and mystery stories, English; Private investigators -- England -- London -- Fiction
I had forgotten to mention that he always carried also his old
regimental sword. But this raised another odd question about him. Slim
and active as he was, he was no longer very young. His hair, indeed, was
quite grey, though his rather wild almost Italian moustache retained its
blackness, and his face was careworn under its almost Italian gaiety.
To find a middle-aged man who has left the Army at the primitive rank
of lieutenant is unusual and not necessarily encouraging. With the
more cautious and solid this fact, like his endless flitting, did the
mysterious gentleman no good.
Lastly, he was a man who told the kind of adventures which win a man
admiration, but not respect. They came out of queer places, where a good
man would scarcely find himself, out of opium dens and gambling hells;
they had the heat of the thieves' kitchens or smelled of a strange
smoke from cannibal incantations. These are the kind of stories which
discredit a person almost equally whether they are believed or no. If
Keith's tales were false he was a liar; if they were true he had had, at
any rate, every opportunity of being a scamp.
He had just left the room in which I sat with Basil Grant and his
brother Rupert, the voluble amateur detective. And as I say was
invariably the case, we were all talking about him. Rupert Grant was
a clever young fellow, but he had that tendency which youth and
cleverness, when sharply combined, so often produce, a somewhat
extravagant scepticism. He saw doubt and guilt everywhere, and it
was meat and drink to him. I had often got irritated with this boyish
incredulity of his, but on this particular occasion I am bound to say
that I thought him so obviously right that I was astounded at Basil's
opposing him, however banteringly.
I could swallow a good deal, being naturally of a simple turn, but I
could not swallow Lieutenant Keith's autobiography.
“You don't seriously mean, Basil,” I said, “that you think that that
fellow really did go as a stowaway with Nansen and pretend to be the Mad
Mullah and--”
“He has one fault,” said Basil thoughtfully, “or virtue, as you may
happen to regard it. He tells the truth in too exact and bald a style;
he is too veracious.”
“Oh! if you are going to be paradoxical,” said Rupert contemptuously,
“be a bit funnier than that. Say, for instance, that he has lived all
his life in one ancestral manor.”
“No, he's extremely fond of change of scene,” replied Basil
dispassionately, “and of living in odd places. That doesn't prevent his
chief trait being verbal exactitude. What you people don't understand is
that telling a thing crudely and coarsely as it happened makes it sound
frightfully strange. The sort of things Keith recounts are not the sort
of things that a man would make up to cover himself with honour; they
are too absurd. But they are the sort of things that a man would do if
he were sufficiently filled with the soul of skylarking.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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