The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 02: In the Midst of Life: Tales of Soldiers and CiviliansBierce, Ambrose
History
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 02: In the Midst of Life: Tales of Soldiers and Civilians
Bierce, Ambrose
Horror tales, American; Paranormal fiction; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction; War stories, American
"Unless you can remove my belief that your Southern sympathies are in
some degree a disqualification, yes. I do not doubt your good faith, and
I know you to be abundantly fitted by intelligence and special training
for the duties of an officer. Your convictions, you say, favor the Union
cause, but I prefer a man with his heart in it. The heart is what men
fight with."
"Look here, Governor," said the younger man, with a smile that had more
light than warmth: "I have something up my sleeve--a qualification which
I had hoped it would not be necessary to mention. A great military
authority has given a simple recipe for being a good soldier: 'Try
always to get yourself killed.' It is with that purpose that I wish to
enter the service. I am not, perhaps, much of a patriot, but I wish to
be dead."
The Governor looked at him rather sharply, then a little coldly. "There
is a simpler and franker way," he said.
"In my family, sir," was the reply, "we do not do that--no Armisted has
ever done that."
A long silence ensued and neither man looked at the other. Presently the
Governor lifted his eyes from the pencil, which had resumed its tapping,
and said:
"Who is she?"
"My wife."
The Governor tossed the pencil into the desk, rose and walked two or
three times across the room. Then he turned to Armisted, who also had
risen, looked at him more coldly than before and said: "But the man--
would it not be better that he--could not the country spare him better
than it can spare you? Or are the Armisteds opposed to 'the unwritten
law'?"
The Armisteds, apparently, could feel an insult: the face of the younger
man flushed, then paled, but he subdued himself to the service of his
purpose.
"The man's identity is unknown to me," he said, calmly enough.
"Pardon me," said the Governor, with even less of visible contrition
than commonly underlies those words. After a moment's reflection he
added: "I shall send you to-morrow a captain's commission in the Tenth
Infantry, now at Nashville, Tennessee. Good night."
"Good night, sir. I thank you."
Left alone, the Governor remained for a time motionless, leaning against
his desk. Presently he shrugged his shoulders as if throwing off a
burden. "This is a bad business," he said.
Seating himself at a reading-table before the fire, he took up the book
nearest his hand, absently opening it. His eyes fell upon this sentence:
"When God made it necessary for an unfaithful wife to lie about her
husband in justification of her own sins He had the tenderness to endow
men with the folly to believe her."
He looked at the title of the book; it was, _His Excellency the Fool_.
He flung the volume into the fire.
II
HOW TO SAY WHAT IS WORTH HEARING
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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