The collected works of William Hazlitt, Vol. 02 (of 12)Hazlitt, William
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The collected works of William Hazlitt, Vol. 02 (of 12)
Hazlitt, William
English essays -- 19th century
‘The next morning the horses were no sooner dressed and fed, and the
stables cleaned, than I hurried to execute my design. I began it by a
most careful examination of the betting chair, round which I slowly
walked a number of times, and finding nothing below, mounted, examined
its crevices, and after often attempting to go, and as often lingering
by some faint endeavour to renew hope, could not quit it at last, but
with painful reluctance. Where should I seek next? The whole heath was
before me; but which was the lucky spot? Groups of horsemen had
assembled here and there: but to find each individual place? Oh that I
had marks by which to discover!—Thus with my eyes fixed on the ground,
wandering eagerly in every direction, I slowly paced the ground, wholly
intent on the perplexing thoughts and fruitless pursuits, till
increasing disappointment, and inquiry into the time of day, sent me
back. This experiment of money-finding on Newmarket heath, might be
thought sufficient, but, no! I had an hour in the evening: it was a fine
moon-light night, and dejected as I was, I resolved again to try, and
forth I went, but it was indeed on the forlorn hope. The incident
however forcibly paints the nature of my feelings. I could not endure to
confess to my father both my guilt, and evident inferiority in cunning
to other boys; and to fabricate a lie, was perhaps equally painful. All
that remained was to put off the evil day, and come to my account as
late as might be. What I mean will be better understood, when it is
known I had determined to leave Newmarket, and return to my father, not
however without having first consulted him, and gained his approbation.
My mind having its own somewhat peculiar bias, circumstances had rather
occurred to disgust me, than to invite my stay. I despised my companions
for the grossness of their ideas, and the total absence of every
pursuit, in which the mind appeared to have any share. It was even with
sneers of contempt that they saw me intent on acquiring some small
portion of knowledge: so that I was far from having any prompter, either
as a friend or a rival. As far as I was concerned with horses, I was
pleased; but I saw scarcely a biped, John Watson excepted, in whom I
could find any thing to admire.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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