"An artist? . . . I should say so, but not like those monkeys of
Cabinski's. How he played! The papers wrote about him. He was in
Plock and I went to see him. When he appeared in The Robbers the
whole theater shook with applause and cries of admiration. I sat
behind the scenes and when I heard his voice and saw him I was so
overcome with emotion that I thought I would die for very joy!
"I loved him so dearly that I would have let myself be torn to
shreds for him! . . . He was an artist, an artist! He never owned a
penny and poverty often devoured him like a dog, but I tried to help
him as much as I could. I slaved for him and lived on nothing but
tea and bread to save something for him."
She ceased speaking while tears flowed softly down her faded, pale
face.
Janina, after a long silence, asked quietly: "Where is your son
now?"
"Where?" she answered, rising from the floor. "Where? . . . He is
dead! He shot himself."
She began to breathe heavily.
"My whole life has been like that!" she began again. "His father was
a tailor and I kept a shop. In the beginning all went well for we
had plenty of money and a decent home. My husband worked for a
circus and shortly a performer caught his eye and he followed her
into the world when the circus moved on."
She sighed heavily.
"I merely set my teeth tightly together. I toiled like a galley
slave to gain a mere living for myself and daughter, but I was
stricken by an epidemic. When I came out of it, everything went to
the dogs, for my shop was sold to cover my debts. I was practically
turned out into the street without a penny. An unspeakable rage
seized me. I borrowed money wherever I could and together with my
child went to seek my husband. I found him living with a shopkeeper
in such comfort that he had forgotten all about us. I took him by
the neck and brought him back with us to Warsaw. . . . He staid with
me a whole year, bestowed another child upon me, and ran away again.
My daughter grew up, we took home sewing, and managed to make a
living somehow.
"Then after some years they brought back my husband stone-blind. I
gave him a nook in my home, for my children desired it. God was at
least merciful enough to take him away.
"Later, I married off my daughter to a peasant. One day about two
years ago, I was present at my daughter's name day party to which a
few relatives and friends had been invited. In the midst of it they
brought me a telegram from Suwalki asking me to come immediately,
for my son was very ill."
She paused for a moment, gazed blankly about the room and in a low
voice, filled with despair whispered on, lifting her pale face to
Janina's:
"He was already dead. . . . They were waiting for me to bury
him. . . ."
"Later they told me that he had fallen in love with a chorus girl
and killed himself for her! They showed her to me. She was the
vilest sort. And that was why he killed himself . . . .
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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