The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Edward agreed to a truce, by which Godwin and his sons were restored to
their rank; but the earl, while dining soon afterwards with Edward at
Windsor, was, according to some, choked in the voracious endeavour to
swallow a tremendous mouthful. Thus perished, from an appetite larger
than his windpipe, one of the most illustrious characters of his age.
Harold, his son, succeeded him in his titles and estates; but as the
latter are said to have consisted chiefly of the Goodwin Sands,
the legatee could not hope to keep his head above water on such an
inheritance.
Harold commenced his career by worrying Algar, a rival earl, who got
worried to death (a.d. 1059), and he then turned his attention to the
father-in-law of his victim, one Griffith, a Welsh sovereign, whose
army not liking the bother of war, cut off his head and sent it as a
peace-offering to the opposite leader. This unceremonious manner of
breaking the neck of a difficulty by decapitating their king, says more
for the decision than the loyalty of the Welsh people.
[Illustration: 077]
It was not long after this circumstance, that Harold, going out in a
fishing-boat on the coast of Sussex with one or two bungling mariners,
got carried out to sea, and was ultimately washed ashore like an old
blacking-bottle in the territory of Guy, Count of Ponthieu. Having been
picked up by the count, poor Harold was treated as a waif, and impounded
until a heavy sum was paid for his ransom. William of Normandy, upon
hearing that an earl and retinue were pawned in the distinguished name
of Harold, good-naturedly redeemed them, at a great expense, but made
the English earl solemnly pledge himself to assist his deliverer in
obtaining the English crown at the death of Edward. The king expired
on the 5th of January, 1066, leaving the crown to William, according to
some, and to Harold, according to others; but as no will was ever found,
it is probable enough that he agreed to leave the kingdom first to one
and then to the other, according to which happened to have at the moment
the ear of the sovereign. *
* This Edward was generally called the Confessor, but how he
got the name we are unable to say with certainty. It has
been ingeniously suggested that it was on the _lucus a non
lucendo_ principle, and that he was called the Confessor,
from his never confessing anything.
Harold, forgetting the circumstance of his awkward predicament in the
fishing-boat, and ungrateful of William's services, immediately assumed
the title of king, and got his coronation over the very same evening. It
is even believed by some that the ceremony was so hastily performed as
to have been a mere _tête-à-tête_ affair between Stigand, the Archbishop
of Canterbury, and the new sovereign.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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