The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present — John Shaqi
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
America was not discovered by Jason while looking up the golden fleece,
although the existence of many American habits point to an originator,
whose name is lost, but whose Asiatic practices are not. It is supposed
by some that the late war crops were the product of certain stray
dragon’s teeth, possibly dropped by that wily Greek on our prolific
soil. But these hypotheses, although as wise as many others connected
with early maritime discoveries, are too learned to be useful. History
declines to pull such wool over the eyes of its readers or to encourage
traditions which flatter the pride of ancient nations, whose age is the
only excuse for their fond, grandfatherly dotings. Nor is it any more
true that the Northmen, in the eleventh century, fell upon this
out-lying continent, when engaged in general lithography along our
coasts,—the pictured rocks near Taunton, although a spirited
illustration of one page of our chronicles, being now proved to be
sketches by later Scandinavian Skalds, less than eight hundred years
old. We also feel obliged to deny the merit accorded by some to Bishop
Berkeley, of having made the first discovery of America. This notion of
some rests all its weight on the strength of those lines, “Westward the
star of empire takes its way.” But those were not the first lines that
were carried ashore and made fast to our continent, nor this the
earliest star which appeared over our American boards.
Much as we should love, in the interest of modern historical research,
to invent a new discoverer for America, candor compels us to award the
glory still to Christopher Columbus. Had he lived three hundred and
seventy-seven years later, he would have advertised for a partner in
some paper of wide circulation; but not having that advantage, he
circulated himself, offering a continent at private sale to all European
nations that fronted the sunset. But all declined with thanks, until at
last, as is well known, one Isabella, a Spanish lady, taken with the
speculation, became a silent partner in the business. She not only
furnished the capital, and took a high interest in the result, but
finally reaped nearly all the profits,—a pleasant example of woman’s
rights thoroughly enforced. She even took a necklace from her neck to
procure funds for the expedition; and with this example before him, her
associate Ferdinand, after trying his hand on several Moors, thought
that, after unclasping from the neck of Columbus “the gem of the
Antilles,” he could substitute a chain less golden. Posterity, however,
indignantly breaking the metallic hasp, has clapped the iron collar back
on the neck of the selfish, cunning, and thankless Ferdinando.
[Illustration:
THE PICTURED ROCKS AT TAUNTON ATTRIBUTED TO THE NORTHMEN, OR SKALDS,
OF THE ELEVENTH CENTURY.
(p. 66)
]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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