The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present — John Shaqi
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
“No wonder,” each one will exclaim, “that our people are so thin after
so much pressing of their ancestors; no wonder at our new-minted words,
the old ones having been fused at a red heat in the central fires.”
Here, too, is the secret of our burning eloquence. This is the source of
our extraordinary architecture, borrowed, like an actor’s costume at a
fancy ball, from huddled heaps of clothing made for others, and brought
together in party-colored, but ill-sorted union. Looked at from this
angle, we can account, too, for our mythological tendencies,—the
invocations to Jove, when surprised; the devotion to Apollo in our
magazines; the frequent use of the lyre in our trade; the love for bare
shoulders, like Junos, in our divine assemblages; our leanings at night
to Bacchus; and other customs and habits that creep out even from under
pan-taletes. Greece at first took her Olympus from us; and we in the
course of time have, like affectionate parents, borrowed it back again.
From these varied proofs it is manifest that, before Columbus brought
over to America specimens of the European stock existing in his time,
our hemisphere had been hard at work firing up at Popocatepetl; scooping
out harbors on our coasts; creasing our valleys in fluvial grooves for
our fast-running craft and boats; feathering the future nests of a later
posterity with materials for use; and in general laying in a large stock
for a successful business to be taken up and carried on afterwards by
those who should come back from their migrations to become large dealers
in universal notions, general purveyors, forwarders and advancers on all
kinds of property, from continents to a spool of cotton, from polar
Alaska ice to West India warming-pans and peppery troches.
How long it took them to flutter back to these old deserted nests, how
many were lost before they had fairly got settled in them, and what
broods now chirp, sing, and crow, through branches new and old, honest
or brittle, these pages are full fledged to show.
CHAPTER II.
OF THE DISCOVERIES IN AMERICA DURING THE ELEVENTH, FIFTEENTH, SIXTEENTH,
AND SEVENTEENTH CENTURIES.
1000–1607.
America not discovered by Jason.—Lithographic Specimens attributed to
the Northmen in the Eleventh Century curious, but by Skalds more
Modern.—Bishop Berkeley’s Western Star not the First American
Constellation.—Columbus offers a Continent at Private Sale; Isabella,
a Spanish Lady, takes him up, and the Profits also.—Of Ferdinand’s
Necklace.—Price of Eggs advanced in Spain.—England finally sees
Something.—A Fish Story confirmed.—Discoveries which Columbus did not
make.—Ponce de Leon.—Mexico unfortunately discovered.—The Straits of
Magellan and other Straits.—De Soto at the Bottom of the
Mississippi.—Champlain, a wise Man, founds Quebec upon a Rock.—Sir
Walter Raleigh and him smoking.—The Mayflower anchored.—Hudson up
Stream.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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