The Complete Essays of John GalsworthyGalsworthy, John
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The Complete Essays of John Galsworthy
Galsworthy, John
Essays
An old woman and Mrs. Herd's sister were in the sitting-room; they
showed us to the crazy, narrow stairway. Though we lived distant but
four hundred yards of a crow's flight, we had never seen Mrs. Herd
before, for that is the way of things in this land of minding one's own
business—a slight, dark, girlish-looking woman, almost quite refined
away, and with those eyes of the dying, where the spirit is coming
through, as it only does when it knows that all is over except just
the passing. She lay in a double bed, with clean white sheets. A
white-washed room, so low that the ceiling almost touched our heads,
some flowers in a bowl, the small lattice window open. Though it was hot
in there, it was better far than the rooms of most families in towns,
living on a wage of twice as much; for here was no sign of defeat in
decency or cleanliness. In her face, as in poor Herd's, was that
same strange mingling of resigned despair and almost eager appeal,
so terrible to disappoint. Yet, trying not to disappoint it, one felt
guilty of treachery: What was the good, the kindness, in making this
poor bird flutter still with hope against the bars, when fast prison had
so surely closed in round her? But what else could we do? We could not
give her those glib assurances that naive souls make so easily to others
concerning their after state.
Secretly, I think, we knew that her philosophy of calm reality, that
queer and unbidden growing tranquillity which precedes death, was
nearer to our own belief, than would be any gilt-edged orthodoxy; but
nevertheless (such is the strength of what is expected), we felt it
dreadful that we could not console her with the ordinary presumptions.
“You mustn't give up hope,” we kept on saying: “The new doctor will do a
lot for you; he's a specialist—a very clever man.”
And she kept on answering: “Yes, sir.” “Yes, ma'am.” But still her eyes
went on asking, as if there were something else she wanted. And then to
one of us came an inspiration:
“You mustn't let your husband worry about expense. That will be all
right.”
She smiled then, as if the chief cloud on her soul had been the thought
of the arrears her illness and death would leave weighing on him with
whom she had shared this bed ten years and more. And with that smile
warming the memory of those spirit-haunted eyes, we crept down-stairs
again, and out into the fields.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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