Washington never slopt over.  That wasn't George's stile.  He luved his country dearly.  He wasn't after the spiles.  He was a human angil in a 3 kornerd hat and knee britches, and we shan't see his like right away.  My frends, we can't all be Washingtons but we kin all be patrits & behave ourselves in a human and a Christian manner.  When we see a brother goin down hill to Ruin let us not give him a push, but let us seeze rite hold of his coat tails and draw him back to Morality. Imagine G. Washington and P. Henry in the character of seseshers!  As well fancy John Bunyan and Dr. Watts in spangled tites, doin the trapeze in a one-horse circus!  I tell you, feller-citizens, it would have bin ten dollars in Jeff Davis's pocket if he'd never bin born! * * * * * * * * Be shure and vote at leest once at all elecshuns. Buckle on yer armer and go to the Poles.  See two it that your naber is there.  See that the kripples air provided with carriages.  Go to the poles and stay all day.  Bewair of the infamous lise whitch the Opposishun will be sartin to git up fur perlitical effek on the eve of eleckshun.  To the poles and when you git there vote jest as you darn please.  This is a privilege we all persess, and it is 1 of the booties of this grate and free land. I see mutch to admire in New Englan.  Your gals in partickular air abowt as snug bilt peaces of Calliker as I ever saw.  They air fully equal to the corn fed gals of Ohio and Injianny and will make the bestest kind of wives.  It sets my Buzzum on fire to look at 'em. Be still, my sole, be still,       & you, Hart, stop cuttin up! I like your skool houses, your meetin houses, your enterprise, gumpshun &c., but your favorit Bevridge I disgust.  I allude to New England Rum.  It is wuss nor the korn whisky of Injianny, which eats threw stone jugs & will turn the stummuck of the most shiftliss Hog.  I seldom seek consolashun in the flowin Bole, but tother day I wurrid down some of your Rum.  The fust glass indused me to sware like a infooriated trooper.  On takin the secund glass I was seezed with a desire to break winders, & arter imbibin the third glass I knockt a small boy down, pickt his pocket of a New York Ledger, and wildly commenced readin Sylvanus Kobb's last Tail.  Its drefful stuff--a sort of lickwid litenin, gut up under the personal supervishun of the devil--tears men's inards all to peaces and makes their noses blossum as the Lobster.  Shun it as you would a wild hyeny with a firebrand tied to his tale, and while you air abowt it you will do a first-rate thing for yourself and everybody abowt you by shunnin all kinds of intoxicatin lickers.  You don't need 'em no more'n a cat needs 2 tales, sayin nothin abowt the trubble and sufferin they cawse.  But unless your inards air cast iron, avoid New England's favorite Bevrige.