Sez I, "Why how you tawk!" and I gut up agin & lookt all round. "I must say, my fren," I continnered, as I resoomed my seet, "that I kan't see nothin of no krisis myself." I felt sumwhat alarmed, & arose & in a stentoewrian voice obsarved that if any lady or gentleman in that there kar had a krisis consealed abowt their persons they'd better projuce it to onct or suffer the konsequences. Several individoouls snickered rite out, while a putty little damsell rite behind me in a pinc gown made the observashun, "He, he." "Sit down, my fren," sed the man in black close, "yu miskomprehend me. I meen that the perlittercal ellermunts are orecast with black klouds, 4boden a friteful storm." "Wall," replide I, "in regard to perlittercal ellerfunts I don't know as how but what they is as good as enny other kind of ellerfunts. But I maik bold to say thay is all a ornery set & unpleasant to hav around. They air powerful hevy eaters & take up a right smart chans of room, & besides thay air as ugly and revenjeful, as a Cusscaroarus Injun, with 13 inches of corn whisky in his stummick." The man in black close seemed to be as fine a man as ever was in the wurld. He smilt & sed praps I was rite, tho it was ellermunts instid of ellerfunts that he was alludin to, & axed me what was my prinserpuls? "I haint gut enny," sed I--"not a prinserpul. Ime in the show biznis." The man in black close, I will hear obsarve, seemed to be as fine a man as ever was in the wurld. "But," sez he, "you hav feelins into you? You cimpathize with the misfortunit, the loly & the hart-sick, don't you?" He bust into teers and axed me ef I saw that yung lady in the seet out yender, pintin to as slick a lookin gal as I ever seed. Sed I, "2 be shure I see her--is she mutch sick?" The man in black close was appeerently as fine a man as ever was in the wurld ennywhares. "Draw closter to me," sed the man in black close. "Let me git my mowth fernenst yure ear. Hush--SHESE A OCTOROON!" "No!" sez I, gittin up in a exsited manner, "yu don't say so! How long has she bin in that way?" "Frum her arliest infuncy," sed he. "Wall, whot upon arth duz she doo it fur?" I inquired. "She kan't help it," sed the man in black close. "It's the brand of Kane." "Wall, she'd better stop drinkin Kane's brandy," I replide. "I sed the brand of Kane was upon her--not brandy, my fren. Yure very obtoose."