I feel an idle interest To read again the page; I enter, as a lover dressed, At twenty years of age, And play the part With throbbing heart, And all an actor's glowing art. And she who plays my Lady-love Excels!--Her loving glance Has power her audience to move-- I am her audience.-- Her acting tact, To tell the fact, "Brings down the house" in every act. And often we defy the curse Of storms and thunder-showers, To meet together and rehearse This little play of ours-- I think, when she "Makes love" to me, She kisses very naturally! . . . . . . Yes; it's convincing--rather-- That "Life is like a play": I am playing "Heavy Father" In a "Screaming Farce" to-day, That so "brings down The house," I frown, And fain would "ring the curtain down." PLAIN SERMONS I saw a man--and envied him beside-- Because of this world's goods he had great store; But even as I envied him, he died, And left me envious of him no more. I saw another man--and envied still-- Because he was content with frugal lot; But as I envied him, the rich man's will Bequeathed him all, and envy I forgot. Yet still another man I saw, and he I envied for a calm and tranquil mind That nothing fretted in the least degree-- Until, alas! I found that he was blind. What vanity is envy! for I find I have been rich in dross of thought, and poor In that I was a fool, and lastly blind For never having seen myself before! "TRADIN' JOE" I'm one o' these cur'ous kind o' chaps You think you know when you don't, perhaps! I hain't no fool--ner I don't p'tend To be so smart I could rickommend Myself fer a CONGERSSMAN my friend!-- But I'm kind o' betwixt-and-between, you know,-- One o' these fellers 'at folks call "slow." And I'll say jest here I'm kind o' queer Regardin' things 'at I SEE and HEAR,-- Fer I'm THICK o' hearin' SOMETIMES, and It's hard to git me to understand; But other times it hain't, you bet! Fer I don't sleep with both eyes shet! I've swapped a power in stock, and so The neighbers calls me "Tradin' Joe"-- And I'm goin' to tell you 'bout a trade,-- And one o' the best I ever made: Folks has gone so fur's to say 'At I'm well fixed, in a WORLDLY way, And BEIN' so, and a WIDOWER, It's not su'prisin', as you'll infer, I'm purty handy among the sect-- Widders especially, rickollect! And I won't deny that along o' late I've hankered a heap fer the married state-- But some way o' 'nother the longer we wait The harder it is to discover a mate.