Marshall Thomas,--a friend o' mine, Doin' some in the tradin' line, But a'most too YOUNG to know it all-- On'y at PICNICS er some BALL!-- Says to me, in a banterin' way, As 'we was a-loadin' stock one day,-- "You're a-huntin' a wife, and I want you to see My girl's mother, at Kankakee!-- She hain't over forty--good-lookin' and spry, And jest the woman to fill your eye! And I'm a-goin' there Sund'y,--and now," says he, "I want to take you along with ME; And you marry HER, and," he says, "by 'shaw I You'll hev me fer yer son-in-law!" I studied a while, and says I, "Well, I'll First have to see ef she suits my style; And ef she does, you kin bet your life Your mother-in-law will be my wife!" Well, Sundy come; and I fixed up some-- Putt on a collar--I did, by gum!-- Got down my "plug," and my satin vest-- (You wouldn't know me to see me dressed!-- But any one knows ef you got the clothes You kin go in the crowd wher' the best of 'em goes!) And I greeced my boots, and combed my hair Keerfully over the bald place there; And Marshall Thomas and me that day Eat our dinners with Widder Gray And her girl Han'! * * * Well, jest a glance O' the widder's smilin' countenance, A-cuttin' up chicken and big pot-pies, Would make a man hungry in Paradise! And passin' p'serves and jelly and cake 'At would make an ANGEL'S appetite ACHE!-- Pourin' out coffee as yaller as gold-- Twic't as much as the cup could hold-- La! it was rich!--And then she'd say, "Take some o' THIS!' in her coaxin' way, Tell ef I'd been a hoss I'd 'a' FOUNDERED, shore, And jest dropped dead on her white-oak floor! Well, the way I talked would 'a' done you good, Ef you'd 'a' been there to 'a' understood; Tel I noticed Hanner and Marshall, they Was a-noticin' me in a cur'ous way; So I says to myse'f, says I, "Now, Joe, The best thing fer you is to jest go slow!" And I simmered down, and let them do The bulk o' the talkin' the evening through. And Marshall was still in a talkative gait When he left, that evening--tolable late. "How do you like her?" he says to me; Says I, "She suits, to a 'T-Y-TEE'! And then I ast how matters stood With him in the OPPOSITE neighberhood? "Bully!" he says; "I ruther guess I'll finally git her to say the 'yes.' I named it to her to-night, and she Kind o' smiled, and said 'SHE'D SEE'-- And that's a purty good sign!" says he: "Yes" says I, "you're ahead o' ME!" And then he laughed, and said, "GO IN! And patted me on the shoulder ag'in. Well, ever sense then I've been ridin' a good Deal through the Kankakee neighberhood; And I make it convenient sometimes to stop And hitch a few minutes, and kind o' drop In at the widder's, and talk o' the crop And one thing o' 'nother. And week afore last The notion struck me, as I drove past, I'd stop at the place and state my case-- Might as well do it at first as last!