The Confession of a Child of the CenturyMusset, Alfred de
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The Confession of a Child of the Century
Musset, Alfred de
French fiction; Historical fiction
She heaved a gentle sigh that was almost a plaint. I turned my head and
saw that first gleams of morning light were shining through the window.
I arose and opened the window; a bright light penetrated every corner of
the room. The sky was clear.
I motioned to her to wait. Considerations of prudence had led her to
choose an apartment some distance from the center of the city; perhaps
she had other quarters, for she sometimes received a number of visitors.
Her lover's friends sometimes visited her, and this room was doubtless
only a _petite maison_; it overlooked the Luxembourg, the garden of which
extended as far as my eye could reach.
As a cork held under water seems restless under the hand which holds it,
and slips through the fingers to rise to the surface, thus there stirred
in me a sentiment that I could neither overcome nor escape. The garden of
the Luxembourg made my heart leap and banished every other thought. How
many times had I stretched out on one of those little mounds, a sort
sylvan school, while I read in the cool shade some book filled with
foolish poetry! For such, alas! were the debauches of my childhood. I saw
many souvenirs of the past among those leafless trees and faded lawns.
There, when ten years of age, I had walked with my brother and my tutor,
throwing bits of bread to some of the poor benumbed birds; there, seated
under a tree, I had watched a group of little girls as they danced; I
felt my heart beat in unison with the refrain of their childish song;
there, returning from school, I had followed a thousand times the same
path, lost in contemplation of some verse of Virgil and kicking the
pebbles at my feet. "Oh! my childhood! You are there!" I cried. "O,
Heaven! now I am here."
I turned around. Marco was asleep, the lamp had gone out, the light of
day had changed the aspect of the room; the hangings, which had at first
appeared blue, were now a faded yellow, and Marco, the beautiful statue,
was livid as death.
I shuddered in spite of myself; I looked at the alcove, then at the
garden; my head became drowsy and fell on my breast. I sat down before an
open secretary near one of the windows. A piece of paper caught my eye;
it was an open letter, and I looked at it mechanically. I read it several
times before I thought what I was doing. Suddenly a gleam of intelligence
came to me, although I could not understand everything. I picked up the
paper and read what follows, written in an unskilled hand and filled with
errors in spelling:
"She died yesterday. She began to fail at twelve, the night before. She
called me and said: 'Louison, I am going to join my companion; go to the
closet and take down the cloth that hangs on a nail; it is the mate of
the other.' I fell on my knees and wept, but she took my hand and said:
'Do not weep, do not weep!' And she heaved such a sigh--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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