The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"Train, Arthur Cheney
General
The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"
Train, Arthur Cheney
Attorney and client -- Fiction; Legal stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
"Can you let me have the money?" inquired Peters.
"My dear fellow," retorted Rosenheim, with an oily sneer, "I owe
the money all right, but I don't own a thing in the world. Everything
in this room belongs to my wife. The amount of money I owe is
really something shocking. Even what is in the safe"--he nodded
to a large affair on the other side of the room--"belongs to somebody
else."
Rosenheim had been through this same performance hundreds of times
before, but not with the same denouement.
Suddenly he saw a lean young man, with hollow cheeks and blazing
eyes, leap over the brass railing. In another instant horny hands
grasped him firmly by the windpipe and a voice hissed in his ear:
"Pay me those judgments or I'll strangle you here and now!"
With bursting veins and protruding tongue he struggled helplessly
to escape as his assailant dragged him toward the safe.
"I mean what I say!" half shrieked Peters. "I'm starving! I'd as
lief die one way as another; but before I die you'll pay up those
judgments--every cent!"
Rosenheim was on his knees now before the safe, his eyes starting
from his head.
"Open the safe!" commanded Peters.
Rosenheim, the sweat of death on his brow, fumbled with the
combination; the tumbler caught, the door swung open. Peters lifted
his captive enough to permit him to reach in and take out the bills.
"Count 'em out!" he ordered.
Rosenheim did as he was told, shaking with fear. Peters stuffed
the money into his pocket.
"Now do your damdest!" he shouted. "I've had one piece of law
business before I died. Good afternoon!"
Rosenheim crawled back to his desk, relit his cigar and endeavored
to pull himself together. He had a half-scared, half-puzzled look
on his face and once in awhile he scratched his head.
Meantime Peters repaired to the nearest hotel and ordered a dinner
of steak and fried potatoes, washed down with a pint of champagne.
He then purchased a new suit of clothes, a box of collars, a few
shirts, and a hat. When he entered Mr. Banks' office an hour later
the latter with difficulty recognized his visitor.
"I owe you three hundred dollars, I believe," remarked Peters,
laying down the bills.
"Owe--me--What? You didn't get that money out of Rosenheim?"
stammered Banks.
"Why not?" asked Peters casually. "Of course I did. Every cent
of it."
Banks looked at him in utter amazement. He, too, scratched his
head.
"Say," he suddenly exploded, "you must be quite a feller! Now,
look here, I've got a claim against the Pennsylvania and Susquehanna
Terminal Company for two million dollars that I wish you'd come in
and give me a little help on. What do you say?"
Peters hesitated and pursed his lips.
"Oh, I don't mind if I do," said he carelessly.
You may have heard of the celebrated law firm of Banks & Peters--
who do a business of about four hundred thousand a year? Well,
that is Peters. Banks says he's "the ablest young lawyer in New
York."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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