But another and more controlling one, though he never betrayed it in words, was his desire that I should have plenty of leisure to reflect upon the step I had consented to take. I could not now but see things as he did, and, indeed, I hope I could never have been so unmaidenly as to give the smallest expression to my secret wishes; but in my heart of hearts I was more vexed than I can express by this delay, which I attributed largely to my uncle’s influence with Tom. When two people are in love, and are to be married, there will be impatience. Whether the man or the woman is or should be the more impatient, I don’t know. I own that deep in my heart I was bitterly impatient. Tom would not sail till August; we had plenty of time to get married in; several months must pass before he could return, and, like a child, I wanted my toy at once. I wanted to feel that he belonged to me; that, though he was absent, an invisible bond united us. I was jealous of him. I said to myself: At the place he is sailing to he may meet with some woman whom he will think fairer and discover to be richer than I. Are not sailors faithless? All the songs and stories about them represent them so. Then I thought of my father, and abhorred myself for being visited with such thoughts, and cried like a fool to think how mean was my heart, that loving, nay, I may say adoring my Tom as I did, I could yet suppose when out of sight he would forget me. Well, the time came round when the _Arab Chief_ was nearly ready, and when my sweetheart must go to Sunderland to carry her to the Mersey, there to load for Rio Janeiro. I never could understand business, least of all the business of the sea, and would listen to him whilst he talked about his venture, vainly endeavouring to grasp his meaning in the full. But I gathered from his conversations with my uncle that he was very sanguine, and that, in any case, there could be no risks, as he had taken care to insure considerably in excess of his stake. I recollect, on one occasion, when we were dining at my aunt’s, my uncle, in talking with Tom about his venture, suggested that he erred by insuring so high above the value of the risk. ‘But why?’ said Tom. ‘At all events, I pay handsomely for the privilege of protecting myself up to the hilt.’ ‘True,’ said the lawyer, ‘but always in case of loss there is something in over-insurance that vitiates--perhaps to one’s prejudice only, mind--the well-seeming of this act of self-protection.’ ‘The underwriters have it in their power to satisfy themselves,’ said Tom. ‘What are your firms?’ asked my uncle. ‘The Marine, the Alliance, and the General Maritime Insurance.’ ‘That’s cover enough, captain,’ said my uncle, laughing.