Open sprang a hundred doors of memory; into Pauline's mind was
discharged avalanche after avalanche of dreadful thoughts. "No! No!"
she protested. "How infamous to think such things of my best friend!"
But she tried in vain to thrust suspicions, accusations, proofs, back
into the closets. Instead, she sank under the flood of them--sick and
certain.
When the lights went up she said: "I'm feeling badly all at once. I'm
afraid I'll have to take you home, Milly."
"Are you ill, dear?" asked Leonora.
"Oh, no--just faint," she replied, in a voice which she succeeded in
making fairly natural.
"Please don't move. Stay on--you really must."
The other man--Shenstone--helped her and Millicent with their wraps and
accompanied them to their carriage. When she had set Millicent down
she drew a long breath of relief. For the first time in seven years
her course lay straight before her. "I must be free!" she said. "I
must be ENTIRELY free--free before the whole world--I and my boy."
The next morning, in the midst of her preparations to take the
ten-o'clock limited for the West, her maid brought a note to her--a
copy of a National Woolens Company circular to the trade, setting forth
that "owing to a gratifying easing in the prices for raw wool, the
Company are able to announce and take great pleasure in announcing a
ten per cent. reduction." On the margin Dumont had scrawled "To go out
to-morrow and to be followed in ten days by fifteen per cent. more.
Couldn't resist your appeal." Thus by the sheer luck that had so often
supplemented his skill and mitigated his mistakes, he had yielded to
her plea just in time to confuse the issue between her and him.
She read the circular and the scrawl with a sinking heart.
"Nevertheless, I shall go!" she tried to protest. "True, he won't send
out this circular if I do. But what does it matter, one infamy more or
less in him? Besides, he will accomplish his purpose in some other way
of which I shall not know." But this was only the beginning of the
battle. Punishment on punishment for an act which seemed right at the
time had made her morbid, distrustful of herself. And she could not
conquer the dread lest her longing to be free was blinding her, was
luring her on to fresh calamities, involving all whom she cared for,
all who cared for her. Whichever way she looked she could see only a
choice between wrongs. To stay under the same roof with him or at Dawn
Hill--self-respect put that out of the question. To free herself--how
could she, when it meant sacrificing her parents and also the thousands
shivering under the extortions of his monopoly?
In the end she chose the course that seemed to combine the least evil
with the most good. She would go to the Eyrie, and the world and her
father and mother would think she was absenting herself from her
husband to attend to the bringing up of her boy. She would see even
less of Scarborough than she saw when she was last at Saint X.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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