And then Mr. Mildmay had exhausted this delight. I believe his rooms
were papered with three different kinds of the choicest paper that ever
came out of Mr. Morris's hands. His curtains had been embroidered in the
art school of needlework on cloth woven and dyed expressly for him. An
ancient piece of lovely Italian tapestry hung over one door, and another
was veiled by a glorious bit of eastern work from Damascus or
Constantinople. His Italian cabinets were enough to make you faint with
envy; his Venice glass--but why should I go on? The rugs which tripped
you up as you threaded your way through the delicate artificial twilight
were as valuable as had they been woven in gold; and no sooner was it
known that Mildmay had accepted a living than all the superior classes
in the southern half of England pricked up their ears. Would there be a
sale? About a thousand connoisseurs from all parts of the country
balanced themselves metaphorically on one foot like Raphael's St.
Michael, ready to swoop down at the first note of warning. I am not sure
that among railway authorities there were not preparations for a
special train.
Mr. Mildmay had got tired of it all. Suddenly in that dainty dimness of
high culture it had occurred to him that studies of old art and
accumulations of the loveliest furniture were not life. What was life?
There are so many that ask that question, and the replies are so feeble.
The commonest rendering is that which Faust in sheer disgust of
intellectualism plunged into--pleasure; with what results the reader
knows. Pleasure in its coarser meaning, in the Faust sense, and in the
vulgar sensual sense, was only a disgust to such a man as Roger Mildmay.
What could he have done with his fine tastes and pure habits in the
_coulisses_ or the casinos? He would only have recoiled with the
sickening sensations of physical loathing as well as mental. What then?
Should he marry and have a family, which is the virtuous and respectable
answer to his question? He had no inclination that way. The woman whom
he was to marry had not yet risen on his firmament, and he was not the
kind of man to determine on marriage in the abstract, dissociated from
any individual. How then was he to know life, and have it? Should he go
off into the distant world and travel, and discover new treasures of art
in unsuspected places, and bring home his trophies from all quarters of
the world? But he had done this so often already that even the idea
almost fatigued him. Besides, all these expedients, pleasure,
domesticity, travel, would all have been ways of pleasing himself only,
and he had already done a great deal to please himself. Life must have
something in it surely of sharper, more pungent flavour. It could not be
a mere course of ordinary days one succeeding another, marked out by
dinners, books, conversations, the same thing over again, never more
than an hour of it at a time in a man's possession, nothing in it that
could not be foreseen and mapped out.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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