English language -- Dictionaries -- Humor; English language -- Semantics -- Humor; Vocabulary -- Humor
INCOMPOSSIBLE, adj. Unable to exist if something else exists. Two things
are incompossible when the world of being has scope enough for one of
them, but not enough for both-- as the poet Gilder and God's mercy to
man. Incompossibility, it will be seen, is only incompatibility let
loose. Instead of such low language as "Go heel yourself--I mean to kill
you on sight," the words, "Sir, we are incompossible," would convey an
equally significant intimation, and in stately courtesy are altogether
superior.
INCUBUS, n. One of a race of highly improper demons who, though probably
not wholly extinct, may be said to have seen their best nights. For a
complete account of incubi and suecubi, including incuba and succuba,
see the Liber Demonorum of Protassus (Paris, 1328), which contains much
curious information that would be out of place in a dictionary intended
as a text-book for the public schools. Victor Hugo relates that in the
Channel Islands Satan himself--tempted more than elsewhere by the beauty
of the women, doubtless--sometimes plays at incubus, greatly to the
inconvenience and alarm of the good dames who wish to be loyal to their
marriage vows, generally speaking. A certain lady applied to the parish
priest to learn how they might, in the dark, distinguish the hardy
intruder from their husbands. The holy man said they must feel his brow
for horns; but Hugo is ungallant enough to hint a doubt of the efficacy
of the test.
INCUMBENT, n. A person of the liveliest interest to the outcumbents.
INDECISION, n. The chief element of success; "for whereas," saith Sir
Thomas Brewbold, "there is but one way to do nothing and divers ways
to do something, whereof, to a surety, only one is the right way, it
followeth that he who from indecision standeth still hath not so many
chances of going astray as he who pusheth forwards"--a most clear and
satisfactory exposition of the matter.
"Your prompt decision to attack," said Gen. Grant on a certain occasion
to Gen. Gordon Granger, "was admirable; you had but five minutes to make
up your mind in."
"Yes, sir," answered the victorious subordinate, "it is a great thing to
know exactly what to do in an emergency. When in doubt whether to attack
or retreat I never hesitate a moment--I toss up a copper."
"Do you mean to say that's what you did this time?"
"Yes, General; but for heaven's sake don't reprimand me: I disobeyed the
judgment."
INDIFFERENT, adj. Imperfectly sensible to distinctions among things.
"You tiresome man!" cried Indolentio's wife,
"You 've grown indifferent to all in life."
"Indifferent?" he drawled with a slow smile;
"I would be, dear, but it is not worth while."
Apuleius M. Gokul,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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