She made the fool a duke, in hope With Heaven's taboo to palter; Then told the priest, who told the pope, Who damned her from the altar! Barel Dort. JEWS-HARP, n. An unmusical instrument, played by holding it fast with the teeth and trying to brush it away with the finger. JOSS-STICKS, n. Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion. JUSTICE, n. A commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes, and personal service. K K is a consonant that we get from the Greeks, but it can be traced away back beyond them to the Cerathians, a small commercial nation inhabiting the peninsula of Smero. In their tongue it was called Klatch, which means "destroyed." The form of the letter was originally precisely that of our H, but the erudite and ingenious Dr. Snedeker explains that it was altered to its present shape to commemorate the destruction of the great temple of Jarute by an earthquake, circa 730 b. c. This building was famous for the two lofty columns of its portico, one of which was broken in half by the catastrophe, the other remaining intact. As the earlier form of the letter is supposed to have been suggested by these pillars, so, it is thought by the great antiquary, its later was adopted as a simple and natural--not to say touching--means of keeping the calamity ever in the national memory. It is not known if the name of the letter was altered as an additional mnemonic, or if the name was always Klatch and the destruction one of nature's puns. As each theory seems probable enough, I see no objection to believing both-- and Dr. Snedeker arrayed himself on that side of the question. KEEP, v. He willed away his whole estate, And then in death he fell asleep, Murmuring: "Well, at any rate, My name unblemished I shall keep." But when upon the tomb't was wrought Whose was it?--for the dead keep naught. Durang Gopbel Am. KILL, v. To create a vacancy without nominating a successor. KILT, n. A costume affected by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland. KINDNESS, n. A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction. KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of. A king, in times long, long gone by, Said to his lazy jester: "If I were you and you were I My moments merrily would fly-- No care nor grief to pester." "The reason, Sire, that you would thrive," The fool said--"if you 'll hear it-- Is that of all the fools alive Who own you for their sovereign, I 've The most forgiving spirit." Oogum Bern.