With her usual patience she shouldered the burden and bore it. She
guessed, with her quick, sensitive sympathy, that perhaps it hurt mamma
less to adopt this attitude. Her daughter was sacrificing herself to
her family. To admit this stunning weight of obligation must, of
course, be painful. Mamma always shrank from painful things. She had
discovered this pose of hers as a kind of refuge from humiliation.
Virgie accepted it meekly. Nevertheless, the tears which it wrung from
her in the darkness of her last night at home were bitter, and could
not be checked for a long time.
The knowledge that Gaunt was in the town, that he had arrived by the
last train the previous night, and was putting up at the Ducal Arms
near the station, seemed to render sleep impossible. She could not tell
why. Not till five o'clock had struck was she compelled by mere
exhaustion to close her eyes.
All her life Virginia had been a poor eater, and the least excitement
was wont to deprive her of appetite. As a result of this, she had
eaten, during the past ten days, barely enough to keep her alive. There
was nobody to notice what she ate, or whether she took a sufficient
quantity. As she had been under-nourished for the last two years, with
the sole exception of her fortnight with the Rosenbergs, during great
part of which mental agitation had made it difficult for her to eat,
she was in a state of real debility. Wholly inadequate did she feel for
what lay before her--the new beginning, the effort to understand the
unknown being whom she was to marry, the settling into strange
surroundings. Her weakness and discouragement were so profound that, by
the time she had arisen, dressed for church, and passed through the
sharp and biting agony of her parting from Pansy, she was reduced to a
state of passive endurance.
All the way to church she talked feverishly, eagerly to Tony of what
they would do in the future. She would pay his pocket money out of her
own allowance. He was to join the school O.T.C. at once, so that he
might go into camp at the end of term....
In such plans as these lay her only anodyne.
Her mother was reduced to complete silence. Mrs. Mynors--in her own
opinion--was the interesting and tragic heroine of this occasion. She,
in all her beauty, all her desolation, had been passed by in favour of
her inexperienced, immature daughter. The pathos of her position--left
in Laburnum Villa while Virginia went to take up a place in county
society--flooded her with self-pity. Never had she felt capable of such
an intensity of emotion as upon this day, when she was carried helpless
to church to give her daughter away. Never had she come so near to
being primally and brutally elementary as at the moment when the
carriage stopped at the church door, and Gaunt came forward, greeting
her with:
"Good morning, my mother-in-law!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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