English fiction -- 20th century; English wit and humor; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English; Sports stories
"Wake up," I said. "You've been asleep for hours. Jane is playing
now."
"Oh, I'm so sorry," said Mary, still with her eyes closed. "Then I
missed your turn. Was it a good one?"
"Absolutely splendid. I had a very long shot, and hit the champion.
Then I took my mallet in both hands, brought it well over the
shoulder--are you allowed to do that, by the way?"
"Yes, it's hockey where you mustn't."
"And croqueted him right down to the house--over beds, through
bushes, across paths--the longest ball I've ever driven."
"I hope you didn't make him very cross. You see, he may not be used
to our game."
"Cross? My dear girl, he was fairly chuckling with delight. Told me
I'd missed the rest of my turn. It seems that if you go over two
beds, and across more than one path, you miss the rest of your turn.
Did you know that?"
"I suppose I did really, but I'd forgotten."
"And here I am again. Jane will be even longer. He's lying on the
grass, and taking sights for her just now.... Why didn't you answer
my last letter?"
CHAPTER IV
"It's this passion for games," I said, waking up suddenly, "which has
made us Englishmen what we are. Here we have a hot July afternoon,
when all Nature is at peace, and the foreigner is taking his siesta.
And what do we do? How do we English men and women spend this hot
afternoon? Why, immediately after lunch, in one case even before the
meal has been digested, we rush off to take part in some violent game
like croquet. Hour after hour the play goes on relentlessly; there
is no backing out on our part, no pleading for just five minutes in
which to get our wind. No, we bear our part manfully, and---- Are
you awake by any chance, or am I wasting all this?"
"Of course I'm awake," said Mary, opening her eyes.
"What years I have known you! Do you remember those days when we
used to paddle together--the mixed paddling at Brighton?"
"Ah, yes. And your first paint-box."
"And your doll----"
"And the pony----"
"And the--good-night."
"G'night."
CHAPTER XVIII
"But how absurd," said Mary, "when we've only just met."
"Oh, but come; it was about two years ago that you let me call you
'Mary.'"
"True," said Mary thoughtfully.
"And you can't say we aren't suited to one another. We both play
without the chalk line."
"So we do. Yet ... Oh, I can't say all at once. Give me a little
time."
"I'll give you three of Jane's hoops. That's about six months."
CHAPTER XX
"Twenty-eight," said the North Rutland champion. "That's what I won
the championship by, I remember."
"It's a good winning score," I said. "Do they play much in North
Rutland?"
"I'm afraid it's been very slow for you and Miss Middleton," said
Jane.
"Not exactly slow," I said.
"We've been talking a lot of nonsense," explained Miss Middleton.
"Not exactly nonsense," said I.
"Oh, it was," said Miss Middleton, "you know it was."
"I suppose it was," I sighed. "Well, we'll try again to-morrow."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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