The Days of My Life: An AutobiographyOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
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The Days of My Life: An Autobiography
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret), 1828-1897
I cannot tell how it was either that he presumed so far, or that I
suspected it--but I certainly did think he had a great mind to say
Hester, instead of Miss Southcote, and only checked himself by an
effort. It was very strange--I felt _haughty_ immediately, but I
scarcely felt displeased; but I am sure there was a consciousness in the
deep color that rose upon his face, and in my tone as I answered him.
"I am only telling the truth," said I. "I cannot help it--when it is
only thinking about a thing, I would rather think myself. A story is a
different matter; I am very sorry for my dulness, but I think there are
no really pleasant books except those which tell a story."
"Even that limit reaches to something more than novels," said Mr. Edgar;
"there is history, and biography besides."
"Yes--but then I only care for them for the mere story's sake," said I,
"and not because they are true or good, or for any better reason. I
suppose a man's life is often more like a novel than like anything
else--only, perhaps, not so well arranged. The misfortunes do not come
in so conveniently, and neither do the pleasures. I think reading a
novel is almost next best to having something to do."
"I am afraid some of us think it a superior good, now and then," said my
companion.
And so our talk came to an abrupt conclusion again. It was my turn to
make a new beginning, and I could not. I did not like to ask him any
questions about himself--which was his college, or if he was a
Cambridgeshire man, or any of the things I wished to know; and, as I
glanced up at his thoughtful face, I once more fell a-pondering what he
could be thinking of. I do not recollect that I had ever had much
curiosity about other people's thoughts before. My father always had a
book before him, which he read, or made a pretence of reading, and my
father's meditations were sacred to me. I guessed at them with
reverence, but it would have been sacrilege to inquire into them. As my
established right, I claimed to know what Alice was thinking of, and did
not need to wonder; but here, with the full charm of a mystery which I
could not inquire into, came back upon me my first curiosity about this
stranger. Either his face did express what was in his mind, or I was not
acquainted with its language. What was he thinking of?--what did he
generally think of? I wondered over his thoughts so much that I had no
leisure to think of himself who was standing beside me, though still I
was strongly aware of every movement he made.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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