For those talks I had dreaded yet had been powerless to prevent had
already borne fruit. I don't think it was so much that Evie experienced
again those compassions and magnanimities that had given her that gentle
heartache in the tea-gardens on that Bank Holiday evening, as that she
remembered the wish into which they had solidified--the wish to have
Kitty completely off her mind. Miss Levey, I was pretty sure, had seen
to it that this wish should become firmly fixed. She had evidently
assumed, for example, that I should be adverse to a meeting between
Kitty and Evie. "Your husband wouldn't like it," I could imagine her as
having said; "quite naturally, my dear; one can't blame him; and so I
suppose that ends it." And to the last words I could imagine her as
having given the meaning, "We do seem to be dependent on the will of
this dull opinionative sex for some reason or other--why I can't make
out." Miss Levey, you see, was an economically emancipated woman.
So, though not a word had been said, Kitty had come, by reason of I knew
not what sympathy Miriam Levey had worked up on her behalf, to be
between Evie and myself. That poor Kitty deserved all the sympathy we
could give her I had never a doubt, but you see the two things that
stood in the way--the lesser thing that Miss Levey assumed I "should not
like," and that other huge and fatal thing that was the truth. To the
multitudinous harassings of my business these two things made a dense
background of private harassings.... But I did not intend that another
long and dogged duel should begin between Miriam Levey and myself. She
was not going to be taken over by Pepper, Jeffries and the
Consolidation. If this enterprise did anything at all it would do
something very big indeed; soon I should be placed high above the
wretched little Jewess's power to hurt; and after all, there is no man
who attains to great power but leaves in his train a score of these
carpers, wishful yet impotent to harm.
But the offering of the new post to Louie Causton was another matter. I
hesitated and wavered. Plainly, I doubted whether I had the right to
find Louie a job. In the close-packed fulness of her life, struggles and
anxieties and all, her happiness consisted; and though she might need
the money, as matters stood she had a peace that money could not give,
and might take away. Let her, I thought at first, toil and keep her
heaven.
But that, I thought presently, might be all very high and fine, but
practically not very much to the point. Billy had been perfectly right
when he had said that by costume-sitting and crochet she would hardly
make fifteen shillings a week. I knew of old what heaven in those
circumstances meant, and I had had no boy to look after, and no woman
intermittently infirm. One can have too much even of heaven on those
terms....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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