Sub-lieutenant Michin--an undersized youth with sunken chest, dark,
pock-marked, freckled face and two timid, almost frightened
eyes--blushed till the tears came into his eyes.
"Gentlemen, I only--gentlemen, I may be mistaken," he said, "but, in my
opinion--I mean in other words, as I look at the matter, every
particular case ought necessarily to be considered by itself." He now
began to bow and stammer worse and worse, at the same time grabbing
nervously with the tips of his fingers at his invisible moustaches. "A
duel may occasionally be useful, even necessary, nobody can deny, and I
suppose there is no one among us who will not approach the lists--when
honour demands it. That is, as I have said, indisputable; but,
gentlemen, sometimes the highest honour might also be found in--in
holding out the hand of reconciliation. Well, of course, I cannot now
say on what occasions this----"
"Ugh! you wretched Ivanovich," exclaimed Artschakovski, interrupting him
in a rude and contemptuous tone, "don't stand here mumbling. Go home to
your dear mamma and the feeding-bottle."
"Gentlemen, won't you allow me to finish what I was going to say?"
But Osadchi with his powerful bass voice put a stop to the dispute. In a
second there was silence in the room.
"Every duel, gentlemen, must, above all, end in death for at least one
of the parties, otherwise it is _absurd_. Directly coddling or humanity,
so-called, comes in, the whole thing is turned into a farce. 'Fifteen
paces distance and only one shot.' How damnably pitiful! Such a
deplorable event only happens in such tomfooleries as are called French
duels, which one reads about, now and then, in our papers. They meet,
each fires a bullet out of a toy pistol, and the thing is over. Then
come the cursed newspaper hacks with their report on the duel, which
invariably winds up thus: 'The duel went off satisfactorily. Both
adversaries exchanged shots without inflicting any injury on either
party, and both displayed the greatest courage during the whole time. At
the breakfast, after the champagne, both the former mortal enemies fell
into each other's arms, etc.' A duel like that, gentlemen, is nothing
but a scandal, and does nothing to raise the tone of our society."
Several of the company tried to speak at once. Liech, in particular,
made a last despairing attack on those present to finish his story:
"Well, well, my friends, it was like this--but listen, you puppies."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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