Detective and mystery stories, English; Murder -- Fiction; Nobility -- Fiction; Suburbs -- England -- London -- Fiction
There were other articles, bearing unmistakable evidence of their
authorship. Mr. Nape’s translation from the sinister realms of crime to
the more healthy atmosphere of journalism had not entirely divorced him
from his first love. It changed his aspect certainly. From being a
participant he became a spectator. Thus, "Cigarette Ash as a Clue," an
article displaying considerable powers of observation and deduction,
rivalled in style and interest the famous monograph on "Cigar Ash," by
another criminal scientist. "Bloodhounds I have trained," by a famous
detective, although published anonymously, may, in all probability, be
traced to the same source.
"Jacko is riotin’ across these fair pages," commented Hank, with the
first number of the _Aristocrat_ in his hands, "like a colony of
Phylloxera across a vineyard."
The Duke nodded.
"We’ve got to have something to fill the space," said the Duke
philosophically, "if we can’t get advertisements."
Hank blew a cloud of smoke to the ceiling and pondered.
"I anticipate trouble," he said.
"From the stainless knight?"
"From the stainless knight," said Hank. "Say, Duke, these effete
European institutions do surely impress me."
He paused.
"Here’s a duke," mused Hank, "a real duke. Not a hand-me-down duke with
a saggin’ collar, not a made-to-measure-in-ten-minutes duke, but a
proper bespoke duke, cut from patterns. Here’s a knight with golden
spurs, rather stout but otherwise knightly, especially about the coat of
arms: here’s a lord—Baron This and That of This-Shire, walked straight
from his baronial castle in Regent Street to harry the marshes of
Brockley——"
The Duke sat up.
"Now," he said with deliberate politeness, "now that you have thoroughly
mystified the audience, are you offering a prize for the solution or are
you holding it over till the next number? The Duke with his admirable
qualities, I instantly recognize; the knight is apparent, in spite of
his spurs. Who is the baron? Is he allegorical or illustrative or a
figure of speech?"
"He’s 62," said Hank.
The Duke’s face bore a look of patient resignation.
"There _must_ be a prize offered," he reflected aloud.
"In fact," elucidated Hank, "62’s a real baron—a lord—His Nibs."
"The deuce he is!" the Duke was alert. "Quit fooling, Hank. Our new
neighbour——"
"Is Baron Tupping of Tupping," said Hank solemnly, "a perfect English
gentleman—I heard him cussin’ in the back garden."
"Tuppy!"
The Duke whooped his delight.
He grabbed Hank’s arm and the pair raced through the conservatory into
the garden.
Somebody next door was annoyed, and his voice rose plaintively.
"Bring the Sacred Ladder," ordered the Duke.
In the middle of the garden stood Tuppy, monocle in eye, hat tilted to
the back of his head, and a cigarette drooping feebly, his face
expressive of despair.
The Duke hailed him.
"Tuppy, you beggar."
Tuppy looked up; his face lit joyfully.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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