"What happened exactly at those sittings I do not rightly know. Perhaps
I shall never rightly know. What did not happen I can tell you. In the
first place, although I secretly used my will upon Chichester, desiring,
mentally insisting, that he should become entranced, he never was
entranced when we sat together. Something within him--was it something
holy? I have wondered--resisted my desire, of which, so far as I know,
he was never aware. Perhaps 'beneath the threshold' he was aware. Who
can say? But though my great desire was frustrated in our sittings, the
desire of Chichester, so different, perhaps so much more admirable than
mine, and, at any rate, not masked by any deceit, began, so it seemed,
to be strangely gratified. He declared almost from the first that, when
sitting with me, he felt his will power strengthened. 'You are doing me
good,' he said. Now, as my professed object in contriving the sittings
had been to lift up Chichester toward my level,"--with indescribable
bitterness Mr. Harding dwelt on these last words,--"I could only express
rejoicing. And this I did with successful hypocrisy. Nevertheless,
I was greatly irritated. For it seemed to me that, when we sat,
Chichester triumphed over me. He obtained his desire while mine remained
ungratified. This was an outrage directed against my supremacy over him,
which I had designed to increase. I gathered together my will power to
check it. But in this attempt I failed.
"Nothing is stranger, I think, Mr. Malling, than the fascination of a
sitting. Even when nothing, or scarcely anything, happens, the mind, the
whole nature seems to be mysteriously grasped and held. New senses in you
seem to be released. Something is alert which is never alert--or, at
all events, never alert in the same way--in other moments of life. One
seems to become inexplicably different. Chichester was aware of all this.
At the first sitting nothing happened, and I feared Chichester would wish
to give the matter up. But, no! When we rose from our chairs late in the
night he acknowledged that he had never known two hours to pass so
quickly before. At following sittings there were slight manifestations
such as, I suppose, are seldom absent from such affairs,--perfectly
trivial to you, of course,--movements of the table, rappings, gusts of
what seemed cold air, and so forth. All that is not worth talking about,
and I don't mean to trouble you further with it. My difficulty is, when
so little, apparently, took place, to make you understand the tremendous
thing that did happen, that must have been happening gradually during
our sittings.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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