"This was the beginning--" the rector turned a little toward Malling,
and spoke in a voice that was almost terrible in its sadness--"this was
the beginning of what you have been witness of, my unspeakable decline.
This was the definite beginning of my horrible subjection to Henry
Chichester."
He stopped abruptly. After waiting for a minute or two, expecting him to
continue, Malling said:
"You said that you found yourself _obliged_ to comply with Chichester's
will. Can you explain the nature of that obligation?"
"I cannot. I strove to resist. We argued the matter. He took his stand
upon the moral ground that I was benefiting him enormously through our
sittings. As I had suggested having them ostensibly for that very
purpose, you will see my difficulty."
"Certainly."
"My yielding seemed perfectly natural, perhaps almost inevitable. The
point is that, without drastic change in me, it was quite unnatural. My
will was unaccustomed to brook any resistance, and troubled itself not
at all with argument. Till then what I wished to do I did, and there was
an end. I now for the first time found myself obliged to accept a moral
bondage imposed upon me by my curate. The term may sound exaggerated;
I can only say that was how the matter presented itself to me. From the
moment I did so, I took second place to him.
"We continued to sit from time to time. And the strange, to me
inexplicable, situation rapidly developed.
"To put it before you in few words and plainly: Chichester seemed to suck
my will away from me gradually but surely, till my former strength was
his. But that was not all. With the growth of his will there was another
and more terrible growth: there rose in him a curiously observant
faculty."
Again the rector took out his handkerchief and wiped his brow.
"A curiously critical faculty. How shall I say? Perhaps you may know,
Mr. Malling, how the persistent attitude of one mind may influence
another. For instance, if a man always expects ill of another--treachery,
let us say, bad temper, hatred, fear, inducing trickery, perhaps, that
other is turned toward just such evil manifestations in connection with
that man. If some one with psychic force thinks all you do is wrong,
soon you begin to do things wrongly. A fearful uneasiness is bred. The
faculties begin to fail. The formerly sure-footed stumbles. The formerly
self-confident takes on nervousness, presently fear.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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