BOEOTIAN. I would take some Athenian produce, that we have not got in Boeotia. DICAEOPOLIS. Phaleric anchovies, pottery? BOEOTIAN. Anchovies, pottery? But these we have. I want produce that is wanting with us and that is plentiful here. DICAEOPOLIS. Ah! I have the very thing; take away an Informer, packed up carefully as crockery-ware. BOEOTIAN. By the twin gods! I should earn big money, if I took one; I would exhibit him as an ape full of spite. DICAEOPOLIS. Hah! here we have Nicarchus,[252] who comes to denounce you. BOEOTIAN. How small he is! DICAEOPOLIS. But in his case the whole is one mass of ill-nature. NICARCHUS. Whose are these goods? DICAEOPOLIS. Mine; they come from Boeotia, I call Zeus to witness. NICARCHUS. I denounce them as coming from an enemy's country. BOEOTIAN. What! you declare war against birds? NICARCHUS. And I am going to denounce you too. BOEOTIAN. What harm have I done you? NICARCHUS. I will say it for the benefit of those that listen; you introduce lamp-wicks from an enemy's country. DICAEOPOLIS. Then you go as far as denouncing a wick. NICARCHUS. It needs but one to set an arsenal afire. DICAEOPOLIS. A wick set an arsenal ablaze! But how, great gods? NICARCHUS. Should a Boeotian attach it to an insect's wing, and, taking advantage of a violent north wind, throw it by means of a tube into the arsenal and the fire once get hold of the vessels, everything would soon be devoured by the flames. DICAEOPOLIS. Ah! wretch! an insect and a wick would devour everything. (_He strikes him_.) NICARCHUS (_to the Chorus_). You will bear witness, that he mishandles me. DICAEOPOLIS. Shut his mouth. Give him some hay; I am going to pack him up as a vase, that he may not get broken on the road. CHORUS. Pack up your goods carefully, friend; that the stranger may not break it when taking it away. DICAEOPOLIS. I shall take great care with it, for one would say he is cracked already; he rings with a false note, which the gods abhor. CHORUS. But what will be done with him? DICAEOPOLIS. This is a vase good for all purposes; it will be used as a vessel for holding all foul things, a mortar for pounding together law-suits, a lamp for spying upon accounts, and as a cup for the mixing up and poisoning of everything. CHORUS. None could ever trust a vessel for domestic use that has such a ring about it. DICAEOPOLIS. Oh! it is strong, my friend, and will never get broken, if care is taken to hang it head downwards. CHORUS. There! it is well packed now! BOEOTIAN. Marry, I will proceed to carry off my bundle. CHORUS. Farewell, worthiest of strangers, take this Informer, good for anything, and fling him where you like. DICAEOPOLIS. Bah! this rogue has given me enough trouble to pack! Here! Boeotian, pick up your pottery. BOEOTIAN. Stoop, Ismenias, that I may put it on your shoulder, and be very careful with it.