There is nothing in the world like this cloud-built vision garlanded
along the sky. No sound breaks from it, no sign of our earth-born life.
The steel-blue-gray of a gull’s wing swooping above the water is gross
as compared with its texture. The violet and the lady-fern are not so
delicate as the substance of its palaces. It might be dream; it might be
mirage; it might be the city which came down from God as a bride adorned
for her husband. Beginning too far away for the eye to reach, and ending
where the gaze can no longer follow, it is immense and yet aërial, a
towered, battlemented, mighty thing, yet spun of the ether between the
worlds.
Though Jennie and her father had looked at this mystic wraith of a city
so often that they hardly noticed it any more, they were never free from
its ecstatic influence. That is, it moved them to aspirations without
suggesting the objective to which they should aspire. Caught in the web
of daily circumstance, entangled, enmeshed, helplessly captive amid
hand-to-mouth necessities, their thoughts were rarely at liberty to
wander from the definite calculation as to how to live. They didn’t so
wander even now. Even now, lifted up as they were among spiritual
splendors, food, clothes, gas, taxes, and the mortgage were the things
most heavily on their minds; but something else stirred in them with a
sluggish will to live.
"Jennie, do you believe in God?"
For a minute Jennie gazed sidewise at the celestial city in the air and
made no answer. Josiah himself hardly knew why he had asked the question
unless it was because of vague new fears as to Jennie’s associations. Of
these he knew almost as little as the parent bird of its offspring’s
doings when the young have taken flight. This was the custom of the
family, the custom of the country. But he had never been free from
misgivings that Jennie’s calling of artist’s model was "not
respectable," and now this mention of a hundred dollars, even though it
were but in jest, roused some little-used sense of paternal
responsibility.
"I don’t know that I do," Jennie said, at last. She added, after another
minute’s thought, "What’s the good of God, anyhow?"
"People say he can take you to heaven when you die, or send you to the
other place."
"I’m not worrying about what will happen when I die; I’ve got all I can
attend to here. Can God help me about that?"
It was the test question of Josiah’s inner life. His faith stood or fell
by it. He would have been glad to tell his child that she could be aided
in her earthly problems, but, unlike Job, hadn’t he himself served God
for naught?
"He don’t seem able to do that, my dear," he sighed, as if the
confession of unbelief forced its way out in spite of himself.
"Well, then"—Jennie rose, wearily—"what’s the use? If God can put me off
till I die, I suppose I can put him off in the same way, can’t I? Do you
believe in him, yourself, daddy?"
"I used to."
And that was all he could say.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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