My Uncle who was of the same nature that other Cuckolds are commonly of, to believe whatsoever their Wife doe say unto them, hearing her so positively to affirm it was I that did it, he began presently to ransack my pockets for the key, protesting if he found the same about me, he would make me an example of his severity. But I who always dreaded what might ensue, to prevent such after claps, had before bestowed the same in a house of office. No sooner had my Uncle examined my pockets, (where was not any thing to be found that might do me a prejudice,) but I began to enveigh against my Aunts malice in blaming my innocency, and to perswade him it could be no other then some thief, who whilest my Aunt slept, having locked the door, had hid himself in one of the Chambers. This though it carried but little show of probability in it, yet the fear of loosing his Mammon made him believe any thing, and therefore presently sent me for a Smith to break open the door, which being done, we all three ascended the stairs to search for his hidden Thief, although my Aunt vehemently urged the contrary, alleadging it was impossible that any one should go up the stairs but she must needs hear them; how ever my uncle would not be so pacified, but searching about, he at last spyed the poor Shopkeeper as he lay shaking underneath the bed half dead with fear. But when he saw who it was, turning to my Aunt he said, _You impudent whore, do you abuse me thus? you could feign sickness with a pox to you, when you were so rampant as to Cornute me in my absence: is this your pretended chastity and reservation? I shall take a time when to be even with you; In the mean time Master Shopkeeper_ (said he) _I will have my pennyworths out of you_, and thereupon falling on him with his fists, (anger giving him at once both strength and courage) he so buffeted the Shopkeeper, that had not the Smith interposed, I suppose he would go near to have killed him; but after an hundred or above of blows, the Smith stepped in betwixt them, giving the Shopkeeper liberty to run away, bearing along with him the marks of my Uncles anger, which he wore as badges in his face for a long time after. My Aunt seeing how bad the Shopkeeper had sped, and knowing the business too apparent to be denied, fell down on her knees, desiring my Uncle to pardon her for what was past, and protesting amendment for the time to come; this her humiliation much mollified the edge of my Uncles anger, who in stead of beating her (which I heartily wished) fell a railing on the whole sex of women in general, in these or the like words.