as a just Judgment upon her for her intollerable pride, and vowing thereafter to be more humble in her carriage, and loving unto me. Now though I thought I had plenary satisfaction for my abuse, of my Aunt, yet I resolved that the maid should in no case go scotfree, but that her disgrace should be equal to mine; Being thus resolved, I procur’d some Emmets Eggs by the help of a Countryman; the nature of which are, that being taken, in broth posset, ale, or the like, they will set the parties on farting, as if they would break their very twatling strings therewith. The very next day after I had gotten them, my Uncle had invited some Guests to dinner, wherefore I resolved to put my resolution in execution then. That morning the maid to strengthen her the better to go through her work, had provided her self a Caudle, she being of the same nature that most women are of, to know very well what is good for themselves, no sooner was her back turned, but I conveyed the Eggs into the same, which she very freely drank off, but presently her Belly began to wamble, and her back-side proclaimed aloud that she was very much troubled with winde; such loud reports she gave, and so fast they came one after another, that the good wife in the Tale _of the Fryer and the Boy_, was a meer nothing to her. I could not forbear laughing if I should have been hang’d to hear how fast she trumpt it about, which gave her occasion to mistrust that I had done something unto her; but when she went to rail at me, her tongue could not be heard for the exceeding noise that she made with her Tail. By this time my Aunt was come down off her Chamber, but hearing how the Maid talkt to her at both ends, she could not forbear laughing neither, which vexed the Maid worse than before. My Uncle hearing the great noise that was made, came also to see what was the matter, but _Jane_ (for so was the Maids name) was so ashamed that she could not speak one word for blushing, only that her Tail proclaimed that she had a very great Civil War within her belly: poor _Jane_ did all she could to hold it in but it would not do, but out it flew with such impetuosity, that my uncle could less forbear then we, but laughed as if he would have split himself. This treble noise of laughter made _Jane_ to think that we had all conspired against her, wherefore she got into her Chamber, and notwithstanding dinner was to dress, yet locking the door, all the Rhetorick that could be used to her, could not prevail with her to quit her Chamber all that day.