_Mr. G._ (_looks off_ R., _then speaks slowly_). Well, I never! Bless my soul! Goodness gracious! Heavens and earth! Here's a tornado, an earthquake, a hurricane! The wife of my bosom, the partner of my joys, in the enjoyment of a season of calm and tranquil delight, gets up, and—Well, well, here's blighted hearthstones, blasted happiness, and for what? For an untold reason. Make public that reason? disclose it to the partner of my joys? Never! distinctly, emphatically, and unequivocally, never! Tell her that I oppose my niece's marriage because upon that marriage I, her lawful guardian, must pay into her hands the sum of ten thousand dollars, left in my hands by my deceased brother, her father, to be so paid on the occurrence of her marriage, which marriage must have my consent? Never! She would drive me from her presence with scorn,—or any thing else that was handy. I can't part with the money now. This unlucky, happy day must be kept far, far away. But my wife, she must be appeased. How can I bring back her smiles? Ah, "The Magic Dye!" She would see manhood in its prime, raven locks, and all that sort of thing, about her home. She shall. I will disguise myself. The die is cast. She will be pleased with the change: she can't help it. The smile will return to her rosy lips, and all be bright again. Wilkins can transform me in five minutes. He shall. I shall dye happy, and live happy ever after. (_Strikes bell._) I'll make a confidant of Bounce. No, I won't. I'll mystify him to—(_Enter_ BOUNCE L.) _Bounce._ Did you ring, sir? _Mr. G._ Bounce, I am about to commit a desperate act. _Bounce._ _H_another? Why, you've only been married _h_a month! _Mr. G._ I am about to leave this home, to go—no matter where; to do—no matter what. You are a faithful servant. You will keep my secret. (_Aside._) I know he won't. _Bounce._ _H_as the _h_apple of my _h_eye, when I know it. _Mr. G._ When your mistress asks for me, you will say—nothing; when they search for me, you will lead them to the—well; you will lead them somewhere, anywhere, but where I am—where I go to dye. You understand. Silence, remember. I was here, I am gone, silently, mysteriously (_creeps to door_, R.), like the expiring flame of a candle. Puff! I'm gone. [_Exit_ R. _Bounce._ My _h_eyes! master's _h_out of 'is 'ead. 'E's gone off suiciding, _h_as sure _h_as _h_eggs. 'Ere's _h_a situation for _h_a 'ouse'old. What's to be done? 'E must be stopped, but 'ow? _H_i'll call mistress. Oh, 'ere she _h_is! (_Enter_ MRS. GRAYLOCK R.) _Mrs. G._ Has your master gone out, John? _Bounce._ _H_o, mistress, _h_i'm _h_all _h_unstrung. 'E's out of 'is 'ead, 'e _h_is. 'E's gone somewhere, _h_and 'e's going to do something _h_awful,—put a _h_end to 'imself. _H_it's 'orrible! _Mrs. G._ What do you mean?