"At times, when I can rise above the immediate injustice and cruelty
which pursue me," he went on, "I glory in my martyrdom. I range myself
alongside those heroes of literature and art, who, because they were
ahead of the age in which they lived, were scorned and repudiated by
their contemporaries; but they found their revenge in the worship of
succeeding generations. My time will come just as theirs did. It
must--I tell you it must. I know that. I am safe of eventual
recognition; but I want it now, while I am alive, while I can glut
myself with the joy of it. I want to see the men who lord it over me,
just because they have influence and money, who affect to despise me
because they are green with envy and fear of me, brought to their
knees, flattened so that I can wipe my boots on them. And--and"--he
looked full at Dominic Iglesias, spreading out both hands across the
narrow table, his pale prominent eyes blood-shot, his face working--"I
want to see someone else--a woman--brought to her knees also. I want to
make her feel what she has lost--curse her!--and have her come back
whining."
"And if she did come back," Iglesias asked, almost sternly, "what would
you do? Forgive her?"
De Courcy Smyth's hands dropped with a queer little thud on the table.
"I don't know. I suppose so. If she wanted to she could always get
round me." Then he turned on Iglesias with hysterical violence. "But
what do you know? Why do you ask that? Are you among her patrons? I
trusted you. I believed you were a gentleman in feeling--and it is a
dirty trick to get me in here and fill me up with food and liquor, when
you must have seen my nerves were all to pieces, and then spring this
upon me. Oh! hell!" he cried, "is there no comfort anywhere? Is
everyone a traitor?"
And seeing his utter abjectness, Iglesias' heart went out to the
unhappy man in immense and unqualified pity.
"I am grieved," he said gently, "if I have pained you unnecessarily.
But truly I have sprung nothing upon you. How could I do so? I know
nothing whatever of your circumstances save that which you yourself
have told me during the last hour."
"Then why did you ask that question about--about her?"
"Because," Dominic answered, "I am ready to fight for you, in as far as
you will allow me to do so; but I do not fight against women."
"You must have had uncommonly little experience of them then," Smyth
answered with a sneer.
To this observation Mr. Iglesias deemed it superfluous to make any
answer. A silence followed. The restaurant was empty, but for the
waiters, who stood in a little knot about the door amusing themselves
by watching the movement of the street. Looking round to make sure no
one was within hearing, Smyth rose unsteadily to his feet.
"You meant what you said just now, Mr. Iglesias--that you were ready to
fight for me?" he asked ungently yet cringingly.
"Certainly I meant it," Dominic replied, "the proviso I have made being
respected."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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