“Don’t,” he said, a little unsteadily; “don’t give way; be brave, as
you always have been, my dear. Live down this story--this stain upon
your life; go to other countries, where no one will know you; make new
friends, who will have heard nothing. The world is before you; leave
England, and do not come back to your boy till time has covered up with
its kindly mantle this wretched episode of your life. Ronny shall be
well cared for. I will look after him, and write to you constantly
about him. Only--for his own sake--separate yourself entirely from him,
until he is old enough to know and to choose.”
He waited for a moment, looking at her yearningly and anxiously, but
the bowed head never stirred. Then, in the silence and gloom of the
bare and half-lit room, he turned, and left her alone in her sorrow and
her desolation.
Thirty-six hours later Fenella stood by herself upon the deck of a
Channel steamer, watching the white cliffs of England as they receded
further and further into the distance. She was quite alone in the
world--she had not even taken a maid with her. She had made up her mind
that she would break every connection of her former life, and start
entirely anew. There should not be even a servant about her to remind
her of her past. It was for this reason that she had decided to go
to the Channel Islands--for a time at least, until she could settle
her further plans. Guernsey was a quiet and comparatively secluded
place, and she was not likely to meet any of her former friends and
acquaintances there, and it would be easy to go on to France from
there, should she feel inclined to do so.
Jacynth entirely approved of her idea, and went down himself with her
to Weymouth to see her off. To be with her in so close a friendship,
and yet to be unable even to take her hand as a friend should do, was
inexpressibly painful to him, yet he did not shrink from sacrificing
his own feelings in order to serve her, whom, in spite of everything,
he still loved and admired more than any woman on earth.
“I have treated you very badly,” she said to him once on the train; “I
led you on and flirted with you, and made you fall in love with me, and
all for nothing but the pleasure of making an empty conquest! I played
with your heart as I have done with that of dozens of others; but I
think you will allow that I have been punished for it!”
He could not answer her. The punishment her own folly had brought upon
her was indeed terrible. And yet he did not know one-half of the burden
she had to bear; nor did he guess at her hopeless and helpless love
for the husband for whose crime she was suffering, that seemed to have
sprung up into new life in her heart during these last three weeks of
peril and of well-nigh despair.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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