Catharine Howard, Queen, consort of Henry VIII, King of England, -1542 -- Fiction
His sword he had not with him, but he had his dagger, and, just as he
drew it, appearing about to stab himself in the heart, there ran across
the hall the black figure of Lascelles, so that he appeared to have been
watching through a window, and the two lords threw themselves upon
Culpepper's arm. And all three began to tell him that there was better
work for him to do than that of stabbing himself; and Lascelles brought
with him a flagon of _aqua vitae_ from Holland, and poured out a little
for Culpepper to drink. And one of the lords said that his room was up
in the gallery near the Queen's, and, if Culpepper would go with him
there, they might make good cheer. Only he must be silent in the going
thither; afterwards it would not so much matter, for they would be past
the guards. So, linking their arms in his, they wound up and across the
courtyard, where the torchmen that waited on their company of diners to
light them, blessed God that the sitting was over, and beat their
torches out against the ground.
In the shadow of the high walls, and some in the moonlight, the
serving-men held their parliament. They discoursed of these things, and
some said that it was a great pity that T. Culpepper was come to Court.
For he was an idle braggart, and where he was disorder grew, and that
was a pity, since the Queen had made the Court orderly, and servants
were little beaten. But some said that like sire was like child, and
that great disorders there were in the Court, but quiet ones, and the
Queen the centre. But these were mostly the cleaners of dishes and the
women that swept rooms and spread new rushes. Upon the whole, the cooks
blessed the Queen, along with all them that had to do with feeding and
the kitchens. They thanked God for her because she had brought back the
old fasts. For, as they argued, your fast brings honours to cooks,
since, after a meagre day, your lord cometh to his trencher with a
better appetite, and then is your cook commended. The Archbishop's cooks
were the hottest in this contention, for they had the most reason to
know. The stablemen, palfreniers, and falconers' mates were, most part
of them, politicians more than the others, and these wondered to have
seen, through their peep-holes and door-cracks, the Queen's cousin go
away with these lords that were of the contrary party. Some said that T.
Culpepper was her emissary to win them over to her interests, and some,
that always cousins, uncles, and kin were the bitterest foes a Queen
had, as witness the case of Queen Anne Boleyn and the Yellow Dog of
Norfolk who had worked to ruin her. And some said it was marvellous that
there they could sit or stand and talk of such things--for a year or so
ago all the Court was spies, so that the haymen mistrusted them that
forked down the straw, and meat-servers them with the wine. But now each
man could talk as he would, and it made greatly for fellowship when a
man could sit against a wall, unbutton in the warm nights, and say what
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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