The Freaks of MayfairBenson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
General
The Freaks of Mayfair
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
Dismissing the metaphor of the trees, we may say that at one time or
another these climbers have come to London, like Dick Whittington.
Possibly they may always have lived in London, taking London as a mere
geographical expression, but London, considered as a spiritual (or
unspiritual) entity, has at one time or other in their lives dawned upon
them as a shining and desirable thing, and they have said to themselves,
gazing upwards, ‘I want; I want.’ They have probably had more than the
proverbial halfcrown in their pockets, for climbing is an expensive
job, with all the provisions and guides and ropes and axes necessary for
its accomplishment, and half-a-crown would not go very far. Unlike Dick
Whittington, however, they have not brought their cat along with them,
but they get their cat, so to speak, when they begin to climb. In other
words, without metaphor, they hook on to somebody, a pianist, or a
duchess, or a buffoon, or an artist, or a cabinet-minister, or something
striking of some kind, and firmly clutch it. Eminence of any sort,
whether of birth or of achievement, is naturally a useful aid in
ascensions, while on the other hand the climber’s half-crowns, or her
flattery, or her dinners, or her country-house, perhaps even the climber
herself, holds attractions for the particular piece of eminence she has
put the hook into. It is her mascot, her latch-key, her passport--what
you will--and she is wise to cling on to it for dear life. The mascot
may not like it at first, he may wriggle and struggle, but on no account
should she let go. Probably he gets accustomed to it quite soon, and
does not mind being her electric light which she turns on when she
chooses, and, incidentally, pays for quite honestly. The two begin, in a
way, to run each other, in most cases without scandal or any cause for
scandal, and, mutually sustained, soar upwards together. By means of her
mascot she attracts his friends to her house, so that he knows that
whenever he goes there he will find congenial spirits and an excellent
dinner, while she, if she is clever (and no climbers, whether
horizontals or perpendiculars, are without wits), finds herself gently
wafted upwards.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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