The Further Adventures of Mr. Verdant Green, an Oxford Under-Graduate: Being a Continuation of "The Adventures of Mr. Verdant Green, an Oxford Freshman"Bede, Cuthbert
History
The Further Adventures of Mr. Verdant Green, an Oxford Under-Graduate: Being a Continuation of "The Adventures of Mr. Verdant Green, an Oxford Freshman"
Bede, Cuthbert
University of Oxford -- Fiction
"Hullo, Giglamps, you lazy beggar!" said the cheery voice of little Mr.
Bouncer, as he walked into our hero's bedroom one morning towards the
end of term, and found Mr. Verdant Green in bed, though sufficiently
awakened by the sounding of Mr. Bouncer's octaves for the purposes of
conversation; "this'll never do, you know, Giglamps! Cutting chapel to
do the downy! Why, what do you mean, sir? Didn't you ever learn in the
nursery what happened to old Daddy Long-legs when he wouldn't say his
prayers?"
"Robert _did_ call me," said our hero, rubbing his eyes; "but I felt
tired, so I told him to put in an _æger_."
"Upon my word, young 'un," observed Mr. Bouncer, "you're a coming it,
you are! and only in your second term, too. What makes you wear a
nightcap, Giglamps? Is it to make your hair curl, or to keep your
venerable head warm? Nightcaps ain't healthy; they are only fit for
long-tailed babbies, and old birds that are as bald as coots; or else
for gents that grease their wool with 'thine incomparable oil,
Macassar,' as the noble poet justly remarks."
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
"It ain't always pleasant," continued the little gentleman, who was
perched up on the side of the bed, and seemed in a communicative
disposition, "it ain't always pleasant to turn out for morning chapel,
is it, Giglamps? But it's just like the eels with their skinning: it
goes against the grain at first, but you soon get used to it. When I
first came up, I was a frightful lazy beggar, and I got such a heap of
impositions for not keeping my morning chapels, that I was obliged to
have three fellers constantly at work writing 'em out for me. This was
rather expensive, you see; and then the dons threatened to take away my
term altogether, and bring me to grief, if I didn't be more regular. So
I was obliged to make a virtuous resolution, and I told Robert that he
was to insist on my getting up in a morning, and I should tip him at the
end of term if he succeeded. So at first he used to come and hammer at
the door; but that was no go. So then he used to come in and shake me,
and try to pull the clothes off; but, you see, I always used to prepare
for him, by taking a good supply of boots and things to bed with me; so
I was able to take shies at the beggar till he vanished, and left me to
snooze peaceably. You see, it ain't every feller as likes to have a
Wellington boot at his head; but that rascal of a Robert is used to
those trifles, and I was obliged to try another dodge. This you know was
only of a morning when I was in bed. When I had had my breakfast, and
got my imposition, and become virtuous again, I used to slang him awful
for having let me cut chapel; and then I told him that he must always
stand at the door until he heard me out of bed. But, when the morning
came, it seemed running such a risk, you see to one's lungs and all
those sort of things to turn out of the warm bed into the cold chapel,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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