Their eyes met for a moment, and then Minola lowered hers. In that
instant a gleam of sympathy had passed from her eyes into his, and he
knew it. She felt a little humiliated somehow, like a proud fencer
suddenly disarmed at the first touch of his adversary. For, as he was
speaking scorn of the human race, she was saying to herself, "This man,
I do believe, has suffered deeply. He has found people cold, and mean,
and selfish--as _I_ have--and he feels it, and cannot hide it. I did him
wrong; he is not a fribble or sham cynic, only a disappointed dreamer."
The sympathy which she felt showed itself only too quickly in her very
eloquent eyes.
Herbert Blanchet rose after an instant of silence and took his leave,
asking permission to call again, which Miss Grey would have gladly
refused if she could have stood up against the appealing looks of Mary.
So she had to grant him the permission, thinking as she gave it that
another path of her liberty was closed.
Mary went to the door with her brother, and, much to Minola's
gratification, remained a long time talking with him there.
Miss Grey went to the piano and began to sing; softly to herself, that
she might not be heard outside. The short autumnal day was already
closing in London. Out in the country there would be two hours yet of
light before the round, red sun went down behind the sloping fields,
with the fresh upturned earth, and the clumps of trees, but here, in
West-Central regions of London, the autumn day dies in its youth. The
dusk already gathered around the singer, who sang to please or to soothe
herself. In any troubled mood Miss Grey had long been accustomed to
clear her spirits by singing to herself; and on many a long, dull Sunday
at home--in the place that was called her home--she had committed the
not impious fraud of singing her favorite ballads to slow, slow time,
that they might be mistaken for hymns and pass unreproved. Her voice and
way of singing made the song seem like a sweet, plaintive recitative,
just the singing to hear in the "gloaming," to draw a few people hushed
around it, and hold them in suspense, fearful to lose a single note, and
miss the charm of expression. In truth, the charm of it sprang from the
fact that the singer sang to express her own emotions, and thus every
tone had its reality and its meaning. When women sing for a listening
company, they sing conventionally, and in the way that some teacher has
taught, or in what they believe to be the manner of some great artist;
or they sing to somebody or at somebody, and in any case they are away
from that truthfulness which in art is simply the faithful expression of
real emotion. With Minola Grey singing was an end rather than a means; a
relief in itself, a new mood in itself; a passing away from poor and
personal emotions into ideal regions, where melancholy, if it must be,
was always divine; and pain, if it would intrude, was purifying and
ennobling.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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