Platonic love -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Schoolboys -- England -- Fiction; Teenage boys -- England -- Fiction
Presently he went on a little farther, clambering back over the
rocks, and taking a rough path which brought him eventually to the
church. The place was quite deserted, as it almost always was, and he
pushed open the gate. He walked over the soft grass till he came to
Brocklehurst’s grave, where he knelt down. The murmur of the sea rose
from below――monotonous, very peaceful. Ah, were they not happiest who
slept here with that dim music drawing them farther and farther from
the world? An infinite melancholy drew its sombre wings about the boy’s
forehead――a melancholy not wholly sprung from his recent sorrow, but a
kind of broader pity for all the suffering bound up with life:――pity,
above all, for the young boy who lay now under the heavy earth, yet
who had once been so bright and active upon it. He found it curiously
hard to think of him as dead, out of existence. Was he not still, even
in that dim shadowy world whither he had passed, conscious, sentient?
Could he not still feel some faint emotion, some faint stirring of
hushed joy or sorrow? Was not his heart still beating softly under
the grass? He stretched himself upon the grave, lying full length,
motionless. Face to face they lay, only a little earth between them;
and far below he seemed to hear a breath drawn almost silently, to hear
the slow, sad stream of a boy’s tears falling, falling evermore. In the
stillness he could hear his own heart beat――beat with the life that
was flowing away from him in a wide, clear flame, the flame of a lamp
burning swiftly up into the night.
The sun had set when he turned to go home. But as he passed the church
door he noticed that it stood ajar, and went in. A bucket of water and
a broom were in the porch, left there evidently for some purpose; but
the church itself was empty.
He sat down for a while in one of the pews; then he knelt, leaning his
face between his hands. A strong desire to pray had come over him. But
pray to whom? Was this then, at last, to be the hour of the unknown
God?... And a few words floated into his mind, came to him again and
again, like a memory of some old tune, or line of poetry: ‘Little
children, love one another....’ It seemed as if some one were stooping
down over him, it seemed as if some one had kissed him, kissed him
softly, had laid a gentle hand upon his head.
And a feeling of ineffable peace began to creep into his heart.
Could it possibly be, then, that he was really nearer to the unseen
world than others were? Now, surely, in some inexplicable way he had
been drawn very very close――closer than ever before. He had a sense
that something was about to happen, and that it would be something
great, momentous, supreme. It was as if he were upon the eve of some
stupendous discovery; and he waited――waited till the signal should be
given him――some sign which, unlike any others he had hitherto received,
would come, this time, he knew, from without.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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