"It would seem so," said the Idiot. "While the music continued my friend
was a well man, ready to go out and fight like a warrior; but when the
cornetist stopped the colic returned, and he had to fight it out in the
old way. In these incidents in my own experience I find ample
justification for my belief, and that of others, that some day the music
cure for human ailments will be recognized and developed to the full.
Families going off to the country for the summer, instead of taking a
medicine-chest along with them, will be provided with a music-box with
cylinders for mumps, measles, summer complaint, whooping-cough,
chicken-pox, chills and fever, and all the other ills the flesh is heir
to. Scientific experiment will demonstrate before long just what
composition will cure specific ills. If a baby has whooping-cough, an
anxious mother, instead of ringing up the doctor, will go to the piano
and give the child a dose of 'Hiawatha.' If a small boy goes swimming
and catches a cold in his head and is down with a fever, his nurse, an
expert on the accordion, can bring him back to health again with three
bars of 'Under the Bamboo Tree' after each meal. Instead of dosing the
kids with cod-liver oil when they need a tonic, they will be set to work
at a mechanical piano and braced up on 'Narcissus.' 'There'll Be a Hot
Time in the Old Town To-night' will become an effective remedy for a
sudden chill. People suffering from sleeplessness can dose themselves
back to normal conditions with Wagner the way I did. Tchaikowsky, to be
well shaken before taken, will be an effective remedy for a torpid
liver, and the man or woman who suffers from lassitude will doubtless
find in the lively airs of our two-step composers an efficient tonic to
bring their vitality up to a high standard of activity. Nothing in it?
Why, Doctor, there's more in it that's in sight to-day that is promising
and suggestive of great things in the future than there was of the
principle of gravitation in the rude act of that historic pippin that
left the parent tree and swatted Sir Isaac Newton on the nose."
"And the drug stores will be driven out of business, I presume," said
the Doctor.
"No," said the Idiot. "They will substitute music for drugs, that is
all. Every man who can afford it will have his own medical phonograph,
or music-box, and the drug stores will sell cylinders and records for
them instead of quinine, carbonate of soda, squills, paregoric, and
other nasty-tasting things they have now. This alone will serve to
popularize sickness, and, instead of being driven out of business, their
trade will pick up."
"And the doctor, and the doctor's gig, and all the appurtenances of his
profession--what becomes of them?" demanded the Doctor.
"We'll have to have the doctor just the same to prescribe for us, only
he will have to be a musician, but the gig--I'm afraid that will have to
go," said the Idiot.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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