The Girl on the BoatWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Girl on the Boat
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Children of the rich -- Fiction; Golf stories; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
“Don’t be a fool. There’s nothing wrong with your heart. All our family
have had hearts like steam-engines. Probably you have been feeling a
sort of burning. Knock off cigars and that will soon stop.”
“You don’t understand me. I mean that a woman has treated me in a way
that has finished her whole sex as far as I am concerned. For me, women
do not exist.”
“You didn’t tell me about this,” said Sir Mallaby, interested. “When
did this happen? Did she jilt you?”
“Yes.”
“In America, was it?”
“On the boat.”
Sir Mallaby chuckled heartily.
“My dear boy, you don’t mean to tell me that you’re taking a shipboard
flirtation seriously? Why, you’re expected to fall in love with a
different girl every time you go on a voyage. You’ll get over this in a
week. You’d have got over it by now if you hadn’t gone and buried
yourself in a depressing place like Bingley-on-the-Sea.”
The whistle of the speaking-tube blew. Sir Mallaby put the instrument
to his ear.
“All right,” he turned to Sam. “I shall have to send you away now, Sam.
Man waiting to see me. Good-bye. By the way, are you doing anything
to-night?”
“No.”
“Not got a wrestling match on with yourself, or anything like that?
Well, come to dinner at the house. Seven-thirty. Don’t be late.”
Sam went out. As he passed through the outer office, Miss Milliken
intercepted him.
“Oh, Mr. Sam!”
“Yes?”
“Excuse me, but will you be seeing Sir Mallaby again to-day?”
“I’m dining with him to-night.”
“Then would you—I don’t like to disturb him now, when he is busy—would
you mind telling him that I inadvertently omitted a stanza? It runs,”
said Miss Milliken, closing her eyes, “‘Trust no future, howe’er
pleasant! Let the dead past bury its dead! Act, act, in the living
present, Heart within and God o’erhead!’ Thank you so much. Good
afternoon.”
§ 2
Sam, reaching Bruton Street at a quarter past seven, was informed by
the butler who admitted him that his father was dressing and would be
down in a few minutes. The butler, an old retainer of the Marlowe
family, who, if he had not actually dandled Sam on his knees when an
infant, had known him as a small boy, was delighted to see him again.
“Missed you very much, Mr. Samuel, we all have,” he said
affectionately, as he preceded him to the drawing-room.
“Yes?” said Sam absently.
“Very much indeed, sir. I happened to remark only the other day that
the place didn’t seem the same without your happy laugh. It’s good to
see you back once more, looking so well and merry.”
Sam stalked into the drawing-room with the feeling that comes to all of
us from time to time, that it is hopeless to struggle. The whole damned
circle of his acquaintance seemed to have made up their minds that he
had not a care in the world, so what was the use? He lowered himself
into a deep arm-chair and lit a cigarette.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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