The Girl on the BoatWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Girl on the Boat
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Children of the rich -- Fiction; Golf stories; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
“I’m glad you’re back, Sam,” he said at length. “I want to have a talk
with you. You know, it’s time you were settling down. I’ve been
thinking about you while you were in America and I’ve come to the
conclusion that I’ve been letting you drift along. Very bad for a young
man. You’re getting on. I don’t say you’re senile, but you’re not
twenty-one any longer, and at your age I was working like a beaver.
You’ve got to remember that life is—dash it! I’ve forgotten it again.”
He broke off and puffed vigorously into the speaking tube. “Miss
Milliken, kindly repeat what you were saying just now about life....
Yes, yes, that’s enough!” He put down the instrument. “Yes, life is
real, life is earnest,” he said, gazing at Sam seriously, “and the
grave is not our goal. Lives of great men all remind us we can make our
lives sublime. In fact, it’s time you took your coat off and started
work.”
“I am quite ready, father.”
“You didn’t hear what I said,” exclaimed Sir Mallaby, with a look of
surprise. “I said it was time you began work.”
“And I said I was quite ready.”
“Bless my soul! You’ve changed your views a trifle since I saw you
last.”
“I have changed them altogether.”
Long hours of brooding among the red plush settees in the lounge of the
Hotel Magnificent at Bingley-on-the-Sea had brought about this strange,
even morbid, attitude of mind in Samuel Marlowe. Work, he had decided,
was the only medicine for his sick soul. Here, he felt, in this quiet
office, far from the tumult and noise of the world, in a haven of torts
and misdemeanours and Vic. I. cap. 3’s, and all the rest of it, he
might find peace. At any rate, it was worth taking a stab at it.
“Your trip has done you good,” said Sir Mallaby approvingly. “The sea
air has given you some sense. I’m glad of it. It makes it easier for me
to say something else that I’ve had on my mind for a good while. Sam,
it’s time you got married.”
Sam barked bitterly. His father looked at him with concern.
“Swallow some smoke the wrong way?”
“I was laughing,” explained Sam with dignity.
Sir Mallaby shook his head.
“I don’t want to discourage your high spirits, but I must ask you to
approach this matter seriously. Marriage would do you a world of good,
Sam. It would brace you up. You really ought to consider the idea. I
was two years younger than you are when I married your poor mother, and
it was the making of me. A wife might make something of you.”
“Impossible!”
“I don’t see why she shouldn’t. There’s lots of good in you, my boy,
though you may not think so.”
“When I said it was impossible,” said Sam coldly, “I was referring to
the impossibility of the possibility.... I mean, that it was impossible
that I could possibly ... in other words, father, I can never marry. My
heart is dead.”
“Your what?”
“My heart.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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