Bildungsromans; Country life -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Pastoral fiction; Siblings -- Fiction
Following on these bracing incentives, came a dull blank period of
unrewarded search. In vain I removed all the drawers and felt over
every inch of the smooth surfaces, from front to back. Never a knob,
spring or projection met the thrilling finger-tips; unyielding the
old bureau stood, stoutly guarding its secret, if secret it really
had. I began to grow weary and disheartened. This was not the first
time that Uncle Thomas had proved shallow, uninformed, a guide into
blind alleys where the echoes mocked you. Was it any good persisting
longer? Was anything any good whatever? In my mind I began to review
past disappointments, and life seemed one long record of failure and
of non-arrival. Disillusioned and depressed, I left my work and went
to the window. The light was ebbing from the room, and seemed outside
to be collecting itself on the horizon for its concentrated effort of
sunset. Far down the garden, Uncle Thomas was holding Edward in the air
reversed, and smacking him. Edward, gurgling hysterically, was striking
blind fists in the direction where he judged his uncle’s stomach should
rightly be; the contents of his pockets—a motley show—were strewing
the lawn. Somehow, though I had been put through a similar performance
myself an hour or two ago, it all seemed very far away and cut off from
me.
[Illustration: “WESTWARD THE CLOUDS WERE MASSING THEMSELVES IN A LOW
VIOLET BANK; BELOW THEM, TO NORTH AND SOUTH, AS FAR ROUND AS THE EYE
COULD REACH, A NARROW STREAK OF GOLD RAN OUT ..... I TURNED FOR A LAST
EFFORT”]
Westwards the clouds were massing themselves in a low violet bank;
below them, to north and south, as far round as eye could reach, a
narrow streak of gold ran out and stretched away, straight along the
horizon. Somewhere very far off, a horn was blowing, clear and thin;
it sounded like the golden streak grown audible, while the gold seemed
the visible sound. It pricked my ebbing courage, this blended strain of
music and colour. I turned for a last effort; and Fortune thereupon,
as if half-ashamed of the unworthy game she had been playing with me,
relented, opening her clenched fist. Hardly had I put my hand once more
to the obdurate wood, when with a sort of small sigh, almost a sob—as
it were—of relief, the secret drawer sprang open.
I drew it out and carried it to the window, to examine it in the
failing light. Too hopeless had I gradually grown, in my dispiriting
search, to expect very much; and yet at a glance I saw that my basket
of glass lay in shivers at my feet. No ingots nor dollars were here,
to crown me the little Monte Cristo of a week. Outside, the distant
horn had ceased its gnat-song, the gold was paling to primrose, and
everything was lonely and still. Within, my confident little castles
were tumbling down like so many card-houses, leaving me stripped
of estate, both real and personal, and dominated by the depressing
reaction.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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